Help

I have never been very good at accepting help. I am very independent and stubborn to boot. I blame it on my parents- I really do think they raised us all to be individuals, or maybe it's just the alcoholic father thing... or I really am just a whack job- trying to be all "why am I so independent" like it's a problem or defect or something... Oy. I digress.

Whatever the reason, I like to do things myself- it's my first choice and preference. Having a large family, with little kids, and a large house with lots of toilets to clean, and pets, and responsibilities has really made a dent in that practice.

I have become comfortable with accepting and asking for help- Well, comfortable may not be the right word- perhaps tolerable will do. Tolerable of accepting help. Since we are leaving town tomorrow for the Turkey day celebration at my folks house, I had to call my neighbor and friend to throw some food at our dogs Friday morning. We'll be back by Friday evening so it's only one day- not a huge deal. But I hate to ask, I do.

And when I have to ask someone to pick up my son from school, or I can't hop in the car and pick up my daughter's friend to come over for a play date, I hate to ask the other person to do it for me.

Borrowing things, asking for childcare, calling up a friend to see if they can lend a hand fixing my sprinkler system- it should be easier. But every time, I grit my teeth.

I've accepted the necessity in my life to ask for favors, ask for help- but I don't like it.

On the other hand, anytime I can do anything for anybody, I'm there. And I think that is apparent- so that's good. At least it makes me feel better.

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