If I know you, and you're reading this blog, you have two choices:

1) Feel free to pretend you haven't, should the contents be offensive, sensitive in nature, or just TMI (Too Much Information).
2) Comment freely or talk to me face to face, and be prepared for further honesty and opinions.

Okay? Okay.

Aug 31, 2007

Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Batman

Holy Underwear, Batman!

Aug 28, 2007

It's back!

Need I say more??? And it's all intact...who knows what happened, it worked just fine for the repair folks.

Like a kid in a candy store, I tell ya!

Aug 24, 2007

Chores Accomplished

This afternoon I did laundry, unpacked groceries, cleaned two bathrooms, and fixed the molding on the stairs (that has been hanging off for a couple of weeks with the nail sticking up, so anyone could have impaled themselves...) in about two and a half hours AND the babies weren't even sleeping!

Did I mention I dropped the laptop? And that it is no longer working? The second time in about two months that this has happened. Perhaps a snazzy desktop is the answer. Now I have to rely on the old desktop that takes 10 minutes to load a page...

Imagine all the stuff I could get done if I never get it fixed!

Aug 21, 2007


On the way home from the first day of school-

Abe announces: "Hey Mama, when I grow up I'm gonna live by myself and have two babies."

Me "Oh yeah?"

Mia: "Abe, but you can't have babies"

Abe: "Yes I can. I can just go to the hospital and get some."

Mia: "Well, maybe if you want... I can have some for you and give them to you."

Abe: "Well, you can have one, but if it gets stuck and the doctor has to cut your belly, it's okay, cuz it will only hurt for a little while and I will get the other one from the hospital"

Me: "If the baby gets stuck, like you were Abe, the doctor gives the birth mom medicine so it doesn't hurt"

Mia and Abe: "Ohhhhh..."

Me: "What will you name your babies, Abe?"

Abe: "mmmmm..., I will name the boy baby Kaleb (Call-eb) and mmmm..."

Mia: "I know, I know, you can name the other one Max"

Abe: "Mia, that is a boy name and it will be a girl! I am having one boy baby and one girl!"

Mia: "Oh, well how 'bout Batinni?" That's a cute girl name."

Abe: "Yeah, Yeah, Batinni and Kaleb...and Max...I will have two son's and a girl."

Abe: "And maybe one more son's, he will be Shrinktone."

Me: "Wow, that's a lot of babies, Abe!"

Abe: "Yeah, and I will call you from the hospital, Mama, and you will be so happy and the babies will be so cuuuute."

Me: "And proud, Abe, I will be proud, too."

Abe: "Yeah..."

Aug 20, 2007

Unfamiliar Places

After dinner out again tonight, we decide to make an uncharacteristic stop at the mall.

As we pull into a parking place Abe yells out "Hey, what are we doing at the gym?" And I laugh. The gym, the mall...??? Both unfamiliar to our family.

Aug 19, 2007

More Breasts...

Table for 11, two highchairs, please.

Grandma offers, oh so nicely, to take the crew out to dinner tonight. We love grandma!

Buying dinner for ten is not cheap. She's got a hankering for coconut shrimp. Red Lobster, Fabulous! Our stance is, if she's paying, we'll pretty much go anywhere... and for that matter if anyone else is paying, we're good to go.

We go early, so the kids are generally decently behaved. It also helps that we starve them before we go... ;) Because we are a large group, mostly comprised of kids, we generally get the preferred seating in a back room with other families. No complaints. Works out better for all involved. Tonight was no exception.

There were two tables of four adults just finishing as we entered. They left shortly after our arrival. A little while into our meal a small family joined us. Mom and dad had a three year old and an infant, I'd say, eight weeks old. Two other tables had employees sitting at them completing work related duties. And of course that wait staff came and went- very attentive, I might add.

The baby was fussy. Mom wrestled the baby out of her sling, unbuttoned her blouse, lowered her tank top, unfastened the nursing bra, and latched that baby on. One breast still in the bra, but not a shirt, and the other, well, the nipple and areola were well hidden in the baby's mouth. The rest, of the rather large, breast was out for the world to see. After the baby was done, mom let it all hang out for a few minutes, got up, gave the baby to dad and then sat back down. She pulled the nursing panel of her bra up, leaving it unhooked, and ever so slightly lifted the top part of her tank up. She proceeded to yell at the waiter for daring to bring french fries to her table and then when her soda was empty, marched halfway across the restaurant, to the bar for a refill. All with her shirt unbuttoned and breasts hanging out.

I would defend her right to nurse in public. I even formed the thought in my head that if a restaurant employee had intervened, I would have stood by her right to feed her baby.

I nursed in public, frequently. And have witnessed many other public nursing's. I was never comfortable with a blanket over the baby and I know there was at least one occasion that I was on the receiving end of a dirty look and the woman marching the other way, youngsters in tow. I feel confident that my breasts were not out for display.

I am far from modest and have no issue with my children watching this all take place. Nudity is not an issue in our house. The baby was darling, the family quiet... I have no complaints.

But, the thought that kept going through my head was- 'this is what ruins it for the rest of the nursing mothers'. The display of breasts, not the actual nursing.

We weren't in her home, or my home, or anybody else's home. We were in a very public restaurant that she marched through to get her soda... boobs all a flutter.

P.S. She didn't look like she forgot to button up, it was painfully obvious her blouse was not buttoned, and her partner never said a word. Her demeanor shouted 'don't even try and f*ck with me'.

Aug 18, 2007


Sometimes I wonder about this silly hobby I have picked up. What good does it do to mindlessly post thoughts and happenings in this public forum? Kind of silly, really. But, I do feel some sense of relief and something akin to freedom, somehow.

So futile, though, when I have these moments of- 'I should be doing something more'. And while often by more, I mean laundry, more also refers to something to stop Bush, something to stop this war, something to make a difference.

Aug 12, 2007

Naked Baby Bums

Julia loves to be naked and she invariably loves to play in the dog's water dish, so one thing generally leads to the other. So when she came over to me sopping wet, her dress dripping on the floor, screeching, I figured she was requesting to be naked. Sure enough. She stopped in front of me and pulled at her dress and I obliged. Down to her diaper, she begins to tug and say off, off, off. I humor her. And off she scampers. Now, there's a couple of things here.

She doesn't have many words, certainly less than she should at this age. Lot's of animal sounds... well, okay, some animal sounds, and quite a repertoire of other noises as well. We have been working on the important ones- 'more, please, mama, mommy, thank you, hot, up, uh-oh, ow, hi. Some of these have been her initiation and some ours.

'Up', is not one of them.

But, today, there it was. How do they do that??

The other thing? Little naked baby butt's are the cutest damn thing! I just want to squeeze 'em! I'd put a picture here, but am just to wary of putting my daughter's naked bum on the internet.

And the last thing... reminds me of a moment. A moment, I think was one of my ultimate 'duh' moments.

Both the little girls have mongolian spots. Go ahead and click on that little link because Wikipedia can explain it way better than I can. Our birth children don't have any, but some of our foster kids have. I can recall being told what these were at some point, years ago, so they have never alarmed me. I have, however, heard terrible stories of child care providers reporting a parent to CPS for suspicious bruising.

In any case, early on in Ruby's placement with us, her birth mother was interested in attending a 'well baby check up' with our pediatrician. This is one of the rights that birth parents have when their child is in placement. I informed our pediatrician before arriving that the birth mother would be attending as well. I'm on the frequent caller list there, they know to expect me, but I like to give them a heads up if there will be birth parents attending as well. Luckily, our pediatrician speaks a fair amount of Spanish and was able to communicate with the birth mom. Ruby's birth mom was born in the US, but raised in Mexico. Her heritage is Mexican. We only heard a smattering of English and were led to believe that her understanding of English was also very poor. Communication was difficult for us, since I only remember very few words and phrases from high school. (Sorry, Ms. Modena)

So, the pediatrician is examining Ruby and communicating to both myself and Ruby's birth mother and as she turns Ruby on to her belly her Mongolian spot is in plain view. Remembering that these spots are often mistaken for bruises, I ask the Dr. to please point out what the bluish, green area is on Ruby's lower backside. The Dr. nods and proceeds to point to the area and speak with birth mom. The Dr. then turned to me and I nodded and said "thanks, I didn't want the area to be mistaken for bruising ..." The Dr. nods again and says, ever so politely "I think she already knew what it was".

Well, of course, DUH! Birth mom is Mexican, her entire family is Mexican, these spots are common in people of Latin descent... I felt like such an idiot.

Aug 11, 2007

The Camper Returns!

At camp with his counselor.

He's home!!!

Dirty, hungry, tired, and happy. He does report that he used soap, at least once. It's so amazing to see your kid after a two week absence. He looks older, bigger. More confident and independent. He had a fabulous time. This was his third year attending the same camp. Coppercreek is absolutely fabulous! Horseback riding, water skiing, boating, swimming, BMX'ing, ropes course, arts and crafts, drama are all possible activities- and I know I left some out. The kids get to choose what they want to do and the counselors encourage and support the kids trying new and challenging activities. They have counselors from out of the country, I mean really out of the country, like Australia, Mexico, and Ireland. And kids from Russia, San Diego, Oregon, Arizona, and Maryland... I can't say enough good things about this place and the opportunities they provide. We are so grateful for the experiences they provide...

Looking Like A First Grader!

Finally, no training wheels!

All I want for Christmas....

Aug 8, 2007

The Magic of Television

That's 6 of the 8- plugged in. It only lasted about 5 seconds, but it was quiet.

Number 1 son is still at camp- comes home Saturday! And we already got a letter this year! Last year the letter came after he was already home.

Number 3 daughter was going to sleep in my arms- yup, she still is rocked, with a bottle. But, she let me take a picture while she nodded off...

Aug 6, 2007

Juggling All The Balls

I'm in the parking lot at Trader Joe's (love T.J.'s) sitting in the still, that is my car without children, and I'm watching a mom, across the lot.

She's on her cell phone, head bent to her shoulder in order to keep the phone on her ear and not falling on the ground. Sunglasses slipping down her nose, sweat pants sliding down her hips. Her three year old is twirling, around and around, watching her skirt fly around her, while mom watches, making sure she is within her grasp, should she twirl to far away and into the path of a car. The toddler is on her hip- the opposite hip of the cell phone because the little one is crying, loudly. She balances all this while she bends over to pick up something that falls to the ground and then grabs a cart to enter the store.

Now, why aren't there more women executives?

Aug 3, 2007


Speaking of breasts and milk and such. I was wandering around this morning in the blogosphere and stumbled upon Toddler Planet. She needs help getting the word out. As well as positive thoughts, prayers sent her way. For Toddler Planet then...

We hear a lot about breast cancer these days. One in eight women will be diagnosed with breast cancer in their lifetimes, and there are millions living with it in the U.S. today alone. But did you know that there is more than one type of breast cancer?

I didn’t. I thought that breast cancer was all the same. I figured that if I did my monthly breast self-exams, and found no lump, I’d be fine.

Oops. It turns out that you don’t have to have a lump to have breast cancer. Six weeks ago, I went to my OB/GYN because my breast felt funny. It was red, hot, inflamed, and the skin looked…funny. But there was no lump, so I wasn’t worried. I should have been. After a round of antibiotics didn’t clear up the inflammation, my doctor sent me to a breast specialist and did a skin punch biopsy. That test showed that I have inflammatory breast cancer, a very aggressive cancer that can be deadly.

Inflammatory breast cancer is often misdiagnosed as mastitis because many doctors have never seen it before and consider it rare. “Rare” or not, there are over 100,000 women in the U.S. with this cancer right now; only half will survive five years. Please call your OB/GYN if you experience several of the following symptoms in your breast, or any unusual changes: redness, rapid increase in size of one breast, persistent itching of breast or nipple, thickening of breast tissue, stabbing pain, soreness, swelling under the arm, dimpling or ridging (for example, when you take your bra off, the bra marks stay – for a while), flattening or retracting of the nipple, or a texture that looks or feels like an orange (called peau d’orange). Ask if your GYN is familiar with inflammatory breast cancer, and tell her that you’re concerned and want to come in to rule it out.

There is more than one kind of breast cancer. Inflammatory breast cancer is the most aggressive form of breast cancer out there, and early detection is critical. It’s not usually detected by mammogram. It does not usually present with a lump. It may be overlooked with all of the changes that our breasts undergo during the years when we’re pregnant and/or nursing our little ones. It’s important not to miss this one.

Inflammatory breast cancer is detected by women and their doctors who notice a change in one of their breasts. If you notice a change, call your doctor today. Tell her about it. Tell her that you have a friend with this disease, and it’s trying to kill her. Now you know what I wish I had known before six weeks ago.

You don’t have to have a lump to have breast cancer.

Please go check out Toddler Planet and read her story.


Last night I had a dream. We had triplets, well sort of. Käri and I gave birth and produced two boys and a girl, but I don't know who gave birth to who. It was a dream after all. The little girl looked just like Ruby, haircut and all. Hope I didn't have to push that out- I'm a lousy pusher. We named her True. Then there was a boy, very fair, strawberry blond hair. We named him Finn. The other boy had a kind of gray mohawk and I don't remember what we named him, but we kept calling him 'the Terminator'. I actually woke up struggling to remember 'the Terminator's' name... And there was milk, lots of milk, spurting from our breasts. Plenty for all. That was reassuring, alabiet, messy.

True, Finn, The Terminator... Truely Finished Terminate...hmmmmm...

And, uh... No, no plans of getting pregnant on the horizon. Thanks anyway.

Aug 2, 2007

Everyone's A Little Bit Racist

I've been reading over at Mocha Momma. She is a fabulous writer and I stop by on a regular basis for a refill of her wit and candor. Most recently she has been discussing racism. Go read. It's good stuff.

I am always flummoxed by this discussion and topic.

As a white woman, brought up in a blue collar family, in a mostly white suburb of San Francisco, by parents who are now entering their 70's, I was exposed to racism. I can, in fact, recall dinner conversations where the "N word" was used. My grandfather was insistent that the "Asiatics" (that's Asians) were taking over the world or at least San Francisco. Equal Opportunity threatened to take my father's job away from him- or at least that's how it was discussed at dinner.

I can remember using racial slurs in grammar school and making fun of the dyke's who lived down the street. Never to any one's face, but I had a circle of friends where this was acceptable or at least tolerated with each other. One of my friends was from the Philippines. I wonder now what he remembers about that time, what he thinks.

Today, I like to think of myself as not racist. I know I don't use derogatory terms other than dyke, but that's generally a word I use to describe myself or perhaps others of my ilk. (Which is another whole subject... along the lines of is it okay for black people to use the "N word"). I don't behave in any kind of racist manner. But, I think the reality is I am racist. I am a product of how I was raised. The kicker is, I also think EVERYONE is racist.

Each of is brought up differently. Religion, Race, Politics, Money, Work Ethic, Speech, Manners, Food, Music, Speech, Sexuality, Education, the list really is endless. If we tried harder to respect one another, tried a little bit of humanity, and dignity... (thanks for those words Mocha) There is so much I don't know, maybe if I said that, openly, clearly, respectfully, I could learn. We could learn. There really is way more to someone than their skin color.

A few years back I was fortunate to see Ave Q on Broadway. I think they covered it well... A bit of a humorous approach- obviously.

Everyone's A Little Bit Racist -lyrics-

Say, Kate, can I ask you a question?

Kate Monster:

Well, you know Trekkie Monster upstairs?

Kate Monster:
Uh huh.

Well, he's Trekkie Monster, and you're Kate Monster.

Kate Monster:

You're both Monsters.

Kate Monster:

Are you two related?

Kate Monster:
What?! Princeton, I'm surprised at you! I find that racist!

Oh, well, I'm sorry! I was just asking!

Kate Monster:
Well, it's a touchy subject.
No, not all Monsters are related.
What are you trying say, huh?
That we all look the same to you?
Huh, huh, huh?

No, no, no, not at all. I'm sorry,
I guess that was a little racist.

Kate Monster:
I should say so. You should be much more
careful when you're talking about the
sensitive subject of race.

Well, look who's talking!

Kate Monster:
What do you mean?

What about that special Monster School you told me about?

Kate Monster:
What about it?

Could someone like me go there?

Kate Monster:
No, we don't want people like you-

You see?!

You're a little bit racist.

Kate Monster:
Well, you're a little bit too.

I guess we're both a little bit racist.

Kate Monster:
Admitting it is not an easy thing to do...

But I guess it's true.

Kate Monster:
Between me and you,
I think

Everyone's a little bit racist
Doesn't mean we go
Around committing hate crimes.
Look around and you will find
No one's really color blind.
Maybe it's a fact
We all should face
Everyone makes judgments
Based on race.

Now not big judgments, like who to hire
or who to buy a newspaper from -

Kate Monster:

No, just little judgments like thinking that Mexican
busboys should learn to speak goddamn English!

Kate Monster:

Everyone's a little bit racist
So, everyone's a little bit racist
Ethinic jokes might be uncouth,
But you laugh because
They're based on truth.
Don't take them as
Personal attacks.
Everyone enjoys them -
So relax!

All right, stop me if you've heard this one.

Kate Monster:

There's a plan going down and there's only
one paracute. And there's a rabbi, a priest...

Kate Monster:
And a black guy!

Gary Coleman:
Whatchoo talkin' 'bout Kate?

Kate Monster:

Gary Coleman:
You were telling a black joke!

Well, sure, Gary, but lots of people tell black jokes.

Gary Coleman:
I don't.

Well, of course you don't - you're black!
But I bet you tell Polack jokes, right?

Gary Coleman:
Well, sure I do. Those stupid Polacks!

Now, don't you think that's a little racist?

Gary Coleman:
Well, damn, I guess you're right.

Kate Monster:
You're a little bit racist.

Gary Coleman:
Well, you're a little bit too.

We're all a little bit racist.

Gary Coleman:
I think that I would
Have to agree with you.

Princeton/Kate Monster:
We're glad you do.

Gary Coleman:
It's sad but true!
Everyone's a little bit racist -

All right!

Kate Monster:
All right!

All right!

Gary Coleman:
All right!
Bigotry has never been
Exclusively white

If we all could just admit
That we are racist a little bit,
Even though we all know
That it's wrong,
Maybe it would help us
Get along.

Oh, Christ do I feel good.

Gary Coleman:
Now there was a fine upstanding black man!


Gary Coleman:
Jesus Christ.

Kate Monster:
But, Gary, Jesus was white.

Gary Coleman:
No, Jesus was black.

Kate Monster:
No, Jesus was white.

Gary Coleman:
No, I'm pretty sure that Jesus was black-

Guys, guys...Jesus was Jewish!

Hey guys, what are you laughing about?

Gary Coleman:


Christmas Eve:
BRIAN! Come back here!
You take out lecycuraburs!

What's that mean?

Um, recyclables.
Hey, don't laugh at her!
How many languages do you speak?

Kate Monster:
Oh, come off it, Brian!
Everyone's a little bit racist.

I'm not!

Oh no?


How many Oriental wives
Have you got?

Christmas Eve:
What? Brian!

Brian, buddy, where you been?
The term is Asian-American!

Christmas Eve:
I know you are no
Intending to be
But calling me Oriental -
Offensive to me!

I'm sorry, honey, I love you.

Christmas Eve:
And I love you.

But you're racist, too.

Christmas Eve:
Yes, I know.
The Jews have all
The money
And the whites have all
The power.
And I'm always in taxi-cab
With driver who no shower!

Me too!

Kate Monster:
Me too!

Gary Coleman:
I can't even get a taxi!

Everyone's a little bit racist
It's true.
But everyone is just about
As racist as you!
If we all could just admit
That we are racist a little bit,
And everyone stopped being
Maybe we could live in -

Christmas Eve:
Evlyone's a ritter bit lacist!