If I know you, and you're reading this blog, you have two choices:

1) Feel free to pretend you haven't, should the contents be offensive, sensitive in nature, or just TMI (Too Much Information).
2) Comment freely or talk to me face to face, and be prepared for further honesty and opinions.

Okay? Okay.

Jan 24, 2007

No Title

I sit

I wait for peace to come

My children are exiled to outside (at least the ones that can walk)

They are driving me crazy

I escape to blogland

I love them so...

Jan 22, 2007

34 Years Today

By Jane: Roe v Wade: You've made it to 34...may you go on forever!

WoW! Impassioned, wonderfully said. Being in the dark on most things political, but of course having opinions, I had no idea today was a day to be celebrated. And also perhaps to be a little sad and maybe angry...

Because, it does make me sad when I look at my children and other babies and think about those that may have been, but are not. Because, I do think of them as babies that may have been. A life that was not destined to be.

It makes me sad to think of babies who were given up to others, when that decision was forced.

It makes me sad when I speak to friends who absolutely know their decision to abort was the right one, yet they remember each year how old that life would be.

It makes me sad when I hear of women who use abortion as birth control, and angry.

It makes me angry to think about our male dominated society who produce Viagra, and tell women what they can do with their bodies and their lives.

It makes me angry to hear about Roe vs. Wade being discussed again, again, and again. The right to choose has been decided. Back off.

Pro-Choice all the way!

Jan 21, 2007

As Promised

The Lashes

When she was a newborn, her lashes would often get stuck in her eyes- they are that long!
She will never need mascara!

And then this one, because I couldn't resist. 11 month old picture of the babies. I love Ruby's look 'She's doing it again' to Julia's somewhat frantic 'get me outta here'.

Jan 20, 2007

Speaking of Breasts

Why don't they make bra's with different cup sizes? I mean it is well known that women's breasts are different sizes than one another (same with men's testicles, FYI).
They make bra's in half sizes now, why not one cup a C and the other a B 1/2 or maybe one side a DD and the other a D? I'm just saying.

By the way, my new bra, compliments of my MIL (gift card for Christmas- Score!)makes the girls stand up and pay attention for the first time in many years!

Jan 19, 2007


It's amazing how many conversations I have had with my kids while I am naked. Generally, in the shower, getting dressed, or drying my hair. Not to mention trying to pee. If I am alone with them and they are all awake, I try to make sure they are set up with an activity or something and run in quick with the quick ' Please, please be quiet no fighting or arguing- I'll be done in just a minute.

Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

I generally have at least one interruption for a critical question/comment like-

'I'm thirsty, can I get some water?' or 'the garbage truck just picked up our garbage'

I've told Leo that not all women look this way- some have smooth skin and breasts that sit up and are the same size. Hopefully, I haven't scarred him.

And then there are Grace's comments 'how come your all, like, fudgy?' No need to explain that one. - right?

These moments do provide some anatomy lessons and boundary discussions, and that's good...

But really, how many years of therapy will it take for them to recover?

Thankfully, no pictures include in this post. I won't subject myself to that!

Jan 15, 2007

Kickin' Back

Nothing like hanging out on a Sunday afternoon, relaxing...

against a big 'ol hard, plastic, green dinosaur!

I swear, Ruby manipulates herself into this position! Crack's me right up!!

Jan 13, 2007


The Missouri boys that were found??? OMG! Fantastic!!!

My kids kept asking why I was crying, as I shushed them, so I could hear the story...

A bit of irony there...

Jan 12, 2007

Great Nana

Overheard in the car- the best place to eavesdrop-

Gus '...well and then she got sick and died'

Grace 'she was really, really, really, old'

Gus 'yeah, and I think she was the first one'

I'm in the front thinking, one of our canaries that died...???

Grace in total agreement and authority (as only a six year old girl can do)

'oh, yeah she was, she was the first one, ever, IN THE WHOLE WORLD'


Gus 'well,... I was just thinking in our family'

Great Nana would be so honored. She died four years ago at the age of 94, when Grace and Gus were two. Grace gave me a stuffed penguin about a year ago, that sits at my bedside, who, I am told, is, Great Nana.

Makes ya kinda wonder if Grace has some cosmic connection to her great-grandmother, doesn't it?

I really wanted to post a picture Grace and Great Nana here, but I can't figure out how to scan it in...maybe I can't do that...hmmm...

Jan 10, 2007

Do These Two Go Together??

You are Strength

Courage, strength, fortitude. Power not arrested in the act of judgement, but passing on to further action, sometimes obstinacy.

This is a card of courage and energy. It represents both the Lion's hot, roaring energy, and the Maiden's steadfast will. The innocent Maiden is unafraid, undaunted, and indomitable. In some cards she opens the lion's mouth, in others she shuts it. Either way, she proves that inner strength is more powerful than raw physical strength. That forces can be controlled and used to score a victory is very close to the message of the Chariot, which might be why, in some decks, it is Justice that is card 8 instead of Strength. With strength you can control not only the situation, but yourself. It is a card about anger and impulse management, about creative answers, leadership and maintaining one's personal honor. It can also stand for a steadfast friend.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Is Super Hero one word or two???

You are Robin

Wonder Woman
Green Lantern
The Flash
Iron Man
Young and acrobatic.
You don't mind stepping aside
to give someone else glory.

Click here to take the "Which Superhero are you?" quiz...

Jan 9, 2007

Bad Guys

I keep picturing a headline I saw somewhere that read "Who is Number 3000?''
It was a bit ago, and they were discussing the 3000th soldier to die in Iraq. Why the interest in #3000? What about 246, 3, 623, 874, 2594? Get my drift???

Isn't it enough?

And these numbers are only US soldiers, right? It doesn't include civilians or Iraq citizens... I recognize that many people could care less about the folks in Iraq, the Iraqi's I mean, but I just can't help thinking that these are sons and daughters, parents, siblings...

Which leads me to-

My son, Gus, always has good questions while we are driving, and today he wanted to know if the police killed 'bad guys'. We chatted about this for quite a bit and the discussion didn't end until we were home looking at real pictures of jail cells on the internet. He was surprised when I told him that police officers don't try and kill the 'bad guy' unless absolutely necessary, but try to capture him peacefully or at worst, only injured. (At least this has always been my understanding.) I told him about the idea that somewhere the 'bad guy 'had someone who loved him and that they would prefer him alive than dead. As would, I assume the 'bad guy'. "But then they would just go to jail for a long, long, time , right?"
I assured him that this was indeed true.

We had to go over the concept of not just outright killing the 'bad guy', but I think he got it.

Even when people do bad things they are loved. They are someone's son, daughter, brother, uncle, friend, lover...

Jan 4, 2007

Weight and Kids

I just read a piece here and as I started to leave a comment, I realized it was getting rather long winded- so instead I decided to write it down here in my own little place.

I have always been "a big girl" and am now a woman. My petite mother used to ask me why I walked like a lumberjack. So sweet. I don't think it was an ill intentioned comment, really. It's just that she, like her own mother, has always had weight issues. I can so clearly picture my mother and me in the grocery store. She, pointing to a woman further down the isle, asking me "is my butt that big"? Uhmmm...?? I don't remember how old I was, but I do recall that I was not yet a teenager. I can also envision my mother exercising to Jack LaLanne. Walking around on that same butt, legs stretched out straight in front of her, arms bent at the elbow, swinging back and forth. I would watch Jack LaLanne, hoping for a sighting of Happy, the dog. Shows where my priorities were! What I remember is that she was driven to keep the pounds off, it wasn't about staying fit. Or at least that's how I remember it...

Even now, the first thing my mother comments about after she sees someone she hasn't seen for a while is how much weight they have gained, or lost. Food and weight are constantly in her conversation. When my first son was under the age of two, she was sure to tell me, that it was OK for him to drink nonfat milk so he wouldn't gain weight, get fat. He was a baby for God's sake! A child that is, and always was, in the 5Th percentile for weight- Skinny!

I recognize that I am overweight and in fact, fat, and am reasonably comfortable with that. Sure, I could lose some weight. I would feel better, look better, have more energy, and be healthier. Here's the thing. I like food. I like to cook it, smell it, shop for it, and eat it. As a result, I look the way I do and that's just the way it is. I can't be sure if it is rebellion towards my mother (after all these years) or just who I am. Some days I wish I weighed less, had less cellulite, and overall was more fit, but I don't dwell. It's never too late and someday maybe it will happen, or not.

Meanwhile, fat, around our house is not a bad word. I use it to describe myself and let my kids know that some people are offended by the use of the word- that sometimes it hurts feelings. And that any descriptor can be offensive... Long ago my good friend, who tried hard to be over 110 pounds so she could donate blood, had a conversation with me about weight and how people are of course offended by the use of the word fat. She also told me something I had never thought of before- Skinny people can also be offended by being called skinny. There are people who try and try to gain weight, and can't, and they too, get tired of being called skinny or getting asked about their weight. No one asks a fat person how much they weigh, but people would ask her how much she weighed all the time. She never felt like she weighed enough. I have never forgotten that conversation. It's all perspective, really.

Which reminds me... A good friend wanted to kidnap a few of our kids for a couple of nights. Kelli lives a couple of hours away, so we agreed to meet halfway and loaded three kids into the back of her car. I had my pangs and the thoughts of all of them getting killed while not in my care ran through my head. The ativan, sadly was at home, but I digress...

Off they drove- and they are having a grand time! But, the point here is that when we returned home from the drop off we only had five kids- On the way we stopped for dinner and it was quieter around the table, we only had to put five kids to bed, five kids for breakfast, five kids all day, and now as I write this there are only four at home. Our oldest, Leo, was invited over to a friends for a sleepover. One more gone. Four kids, we've never had four kids! Our family grew by leaps; one to three to five to six to eight. It is sooo much easier with five or four than eight! Of course this is crazy talk to parents of fewer numbers and I realize that.
Which, once again brings me to the conclusion that it is all perspective!

We have plenty of friends with one, or two, or even three kids. And it's hard. Hard to get them to bed when they are supposed to, hard to get them to eat healthy, hard to get some alone time, hard to run errands... And it's true! I've always thought that and said as much to friends when they shake their head at me and inquire as to "how do you do it"? It's all what you get used to is my usual response, and I believe that.

It really doesn't matter how much you weigh or how many kids you have- It's all perspective.

It is what it is, every one's reality is there own, No?