If I know you, and you're reading this blog, you have two choices:

1) Feel free to pretend you haven't, should the contents be offensive, sensitive in nature, or just TMI (Too Much Information).
2) Comment freely or talk to me face to face, and be prepared for further honesty and opinions.

Okay? Okay.

Nov 30, 2007


I did it, I did it, I did it!

NaBloPoMo is over as of today and I did every day. Even today...

I am sick. Strep throat. I can't swallow. It's lovely. I took four motrin at 2:15 and another four at 6:15 and some hefty antibiotic about 6:15, as well.

I will feel better tomorrow, I will, I will.

P.S. Apparently I'm not weird. See. Unless no one is reading, but my stats tell me there is-even some people I know.

Nov 29, 2007

#3 and #4

You'd think I was stretching out this seven weird things meme just to fulfill NaBloPoMo. I swear it isn't true. I don't know if it's simply being oblivious of my weird things (I am sure I must have more than seven) or I have learned to accept my weird things as part of myself, therefore making them not weird, at least to me. Perhaps I should take a poll.

Anybody reading? Go ahead, give it your best shot, let me in on my weirdness. Comment away.

In the meantime here's a couple of more.

#3. Even on the coldest of mornings I drink an iced blended coffee creation that makes my hands freeze. I admit it, I'm addicted. Thanks to my lovely friends and neighbors, who kindly shared their recipe, instead of me spending $4.00 at their wonderful establishment every morning. I still treat myself occasionally and their beans certainly make the best toddy...I even re-use their plastic cups and straws because it just makes it taste better.

#4. I cannot get my fill of babies. K and I even have names pretty much picked out should another call come in AND we decide we're ready (or certifiable). And no I won't tell what they are- even though I think we have told a few people already.

I passed a young girl (maybe 15) with her bff trying to pick out a pregnancy test yesterday...I wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "I hope it turns out the way you want" and then give her my address in case she should decide to surrender that baby someday- you know, just in case. (I didn't do anything)

The finished pictures of the pumpkin chocolate chip muffins, yeah, sorry they're all gone. Maybe next time, there will be a next time.

Nov 28, 2007

So close now

I'm so tired tonight that I'd be in bed, but I had to wait for my turn with the computer so I could blog... It's not even 8:30. All but Leo in bed. We're watching 'Shrek the Halls' They are hysterical...

Today is day five of high fever's for Abe. He had a rash on his chest and belly and then yesterday he broke out all around his mouth, in what looked like little pimples, what the hell? Today we went to the Dr, finally. Of course he has an ear infection. He never complains of ear pain, I think, due to his 11 months with his birth mother. Oh, I haven't told their story yet, have I??? Well, too tired tonight. Someday, it will come... And the little pimples? Impetigo. Lovely.

On the plus side, I had dinner made by 2:00 this afternoon thanks to a recipe from City Mama. I had to e-mail her in the middle of it for clarification. Thankfully, she got back to me in like 4 minutes and dinner was a success, at least for Käri and me. My kids ate tortilla chips... Oh well.

I'm having trouble thinking of seven weird things about me...

#2 I haven't shaved my pits for about 20 years- it hurts, so I refuse, period. It's not the whole lesbian thing, although that probably plays a part, but that's like another whole post or maybe novel... and I only shave my legs in warm weather, so there, and goodnight. It's 8:44.

Nov 27, 2007

Number One, Of The Seven Weird Things Meme

Sometimes, when I'm driving down the road, and there is a car behind me, riding on my tail and there is a car next to me, so the eager car can't get around,




And I like it.

In other news...

I saw these.

So, I made some of my own. Very yummy, next time I would add more cinnamon, though.

I added chocolate chips to the second batch...Yum!

They're still cooking. Listening to Christmas music all day today put me in the mood for baking. That, and the babies slept for three hours this afternoon.

Canarygirl's picture is way better.

Nov 26, 2007


We're at the gas station. I finish filling up the colossal beast and get back in the van.

Abe frantically asks: "Mama, Mama... how do you fall in canimal poop?"

Me: "Uh, canimal poop...???"

Abe: "Yeah, canimal poop."

I look around looking for clues as to what the hell he is talking about. Searching, searching...

Me: "Animal poop?"

Abe: "No, no, a canimal, canimal poop, it has a bumpy thing on it!"

Ah, finally I spot the ad for Camel cigarettes on the station door.

Me: "Abe, do you mean a camel?"

Abe: "Yeah, yeah!"

Still, I'm at a loss- how do I fall into camel poop?? What the???

Me: "I suppose you wander around the dessert and accidentally fall..."

Abe: "Ohhhh."

Glad I could solve that puzzle for him.

Routines are how we live in this house. Example?

Abe and Mia have always slept a lot. They get easily over stimulated, change is hard... Sleep is very important for them in particular. Generally, we eat dinner at 5:30, each of the kids clears their own plate, and then Abe and Mia get into pajamas. They are in bed between 6:15 and 6:45 at the latest.

Tonight, Leo had to be at theater practice at 5, finish homework before he left, and eat dinner. On the way home from school at 4:15 (homework complete) Käri took the four oldest (the four youngest were home with me) through 'In and Out' for a quick dinner on the way to theater. They were done by 4:45. Jack sighs deeply "Oh, Mommy my stomach is so full, I am stuffed... Is it time for Abe and Mia to go to bed now?"

Routine, Routine, Routine...

Nov 25, 2007

Just The Beginning

Tis the season!

This is our third Christmas in this house. When we bought the house we were told that it was on a cul de sac that decorated for Christmas. In fact, our street is published in the paper as one of the places to see the lights. We get limos, buses, and a constant stream of vehicles driving slowly down the street, sometimes with headlights off 'to get the full effect'.

Our first Christmas here we had only been in the house seven weeks, and while we had decorated the outside of our old house, we did not have nearly enough. My family contributed a few things and we bought a few in the after Christmas sales over the last couple of years. We are well on our way to being seen from space or eternal tackydom, maybe both.

I refuse to get on the roof, so that remains bare, but the eaves are next, and the front porch, and the walk way, and the lighted wreathes that we hang on the inside windows of the house... This is the earliest start I've gotten- Leo was adamant that we start, now. And he did help, he kept trying to rearrange everything, he couldn't quite get the concept that they all had to be plugged in and that putting things in the middle of the lawn would mean lots of extension cords. He did try and assemble the newest addition, of a a 6ft tall lighted candy cane tree- my mother bought it for us when she was here in October- and then I spent forever swearing at it because it wouldn't quite fit together- so it's a little lopsided, who's going to notice?? Looks more natural that way, no? ;)

Nov 24, 2007

Mia, Mia, Mia...

The girl is driving me really crazy these days. She is in a particularly feisty, stubborn, disobedient, destructive, stage.

Since her behavior has put her on the naughty list lately, we've been keeping a close eye on her and within arms reach. Today, she was left on her own for 15- 20 minutes and in that time she took the scissors to her little sister's head. She denied it, twice, when asked directly. I changed tactics for the third query and simply asked "where are the scissors?" That did it. We considered shaving her head as a consequence, or perhaps giving Ruby the scissors and letting her cut Mia's hair. (Both were dismissed, grudgingly)

She has destroyed multiple toys, screamed, cried, hit her siblings, and can't seem to follow directions at.all. We've tried love and logic, natural consequences, positive reinforcement, negative reinforcement, logical consequences, patience, yelling, reminders, lowering expectations, raising expectations...

I know it will pass, and we'll figure something out, but for the moment, I'm at a loss and so frustrated. Arghhh...

Nov 23, 2007


A little known holiday is celebrated in our house on the day after Thanksgiving.

Today is the ninth annual Christmas Kick Off! Today is the day we welcome the Christmas season. It is our family tradition to spend the day in pajamas, listening to Christmas music and watching Christmas videos. We eat the first candy cane of the season, leftovers from the Thanksgiving feast, popcorn, Christmas candy, sparkling cider, and peanut blossom cookies (which are the cookies we make and leave out for Santa).

The kids pull out their sleeping bags, grab their pillows and make nests in front of the TV. They beg to eat candy all day... and we convince them to eat something on the healthy side first...

This year we are attempting to put together a Christmas puzzle- a little hard with two 21 month old girls climbing everywhere- we haven't quite started that project, yet. It's 4:00, and we have watched, Frosty the Snowman, Frosty Returns, The Polar Express, Elf, and Deck the Halls (not as funny as I was hoping). Next on the agenda? Santa Clause III, make the cookies, start the puzzle.

The kids run around between movies, play outside and are at the moment very involved in a good guys, evil guys, helicopter, trapping the bad guys with blocks sorta game.

It's the best way to recover from Thanksgiving, no shopping, unless it's online. An occasional grown up nap is squeezed in, no commitments, sit back and relax, kinda day.

Nov 22, 2007

Turkey Day

Potatoes- done

Stuffing- done

Dill Dip- done

Onion Dip- done

Potato Chips- In the pantry

Tri-Tip- marinating

Turkey- ready to go

Gravy- to follow the turkey

Carrots- ready to go

Cranberry Chutney- done

Green Salad- check

Pies- coming

Ice Cream- Yep

Rolls- coming

Relish tray- coming

Beer- Yes!

Wine- covered

Hard Alcohol- uh-huh!

Sparkling Cider- check

I Think We're Ready.

Nov 21, 2007


Mia: "Mama, do bees make bananas?"

Jack: "Did you know that bees make honey? But, I don't like bees...'cuz, you know why? Bees kill butterflies."

Mama: "They do?"

Jack: "Yeah, they kill butterflies, bees kill butterflies because they don't like them."

Mama: "They don't like them?"

Jack: " Yeah, they don't like them, 'cuz you know why? 'Cuz bees make honey, and butterflies they make butter, and bees they think honey is better than butter, so they kill them"

Mama: "...really...???"

Mia: "....but mama, do bees make bananas...?

Nov 20, 2007

The Lovely System

I ran into another foster parent at the store today. I know the family by reputation, mostly, but the mother was very helpful when the twins first entered our care. She spoke with us on the phone several times and came to our house to meet them and talk with us about their day to day care and issues. I don't remember how long they have been foster parents, I want to say twenty years or more- a long time. Early in their career they had multiple babies in their home- up to six at a time. Babies, six of them, under a year. They moved from the big city to our area about five years ago and have continued to keep their home open for foster children of all sorts. They have also adopted close to twenty children over the years. Many of them live out of the home, however they do have, I believe thirteen at home. Their reputation in the foster care community, both foster parents and the professional folks, is wonderful.

I run into dad from time to time at the grocery store, usually. He always has a kind word, or three, and tends to remind us "that eight is a good start". Today, he gave me an update on the sibling group that they have had for three months. It seems that social services is now having second thoughts about placing them in this family. When they were initially looking for placement, social services called numerous homes in the hopes of keeping the siblings together. No one would take all three until this family was contacted and said yes. Good for the kids! Yay, team! Right? Apparently not. Now, social services is re-thinking the placement. They are saying that the family has too many kids...hmmm, not an issue when they were first looking for placement... Dad thinks it's due to issues with the older kids- there have been some spots of trouble over the last few months, bad enough that the parents called the police on their own children. Sounds responsible to me- knowing this family and the children that they have truly, devoted their lives too.

Of course, I don't know the whole story. Certainly, there may be details that have been left out. Dad says the kids have fit in their family very well and that things are smooth with them. I believe him. This is the first time the kids have entered care- it's working, why disrupt this placement? It would only disrupt these kids more. If social services believes they made a bad decision... There are other more legitimate reasons to disrupt a placement. This does not seem right. Dad is aware that he has little to no control over the situation. Kids come, kids go, some stay forever. He will, however fight for the children if he needs to. For now, they wait, to see what will happen and if they will need to fight for the rights of the kids.

And then I ran into this story. A little one that was returned to her birth parents and is now in trouble.

Nov 19, 2007

I'm losing count, already, I think part 3 or 5

Back in May, I wrote a post about our alternative lifestyle. It prompted a question which I started to answer here, here, here, and most recently here.

Leo was a wonderful addition to our family. His birth brought our parents more solidly involved with our lives in a way that they hadn't been. A grandchild forced their hand, so to speak. Before it was easy for them to not have to deal with us as a couple, pretend what ever they wanted to. Initially, Käri's mom did tell her friends that she had adopted Leo- I'm not sure how she explained my presence. (Once, when one of her friends was coming over to meet him, he was hungry, but she insisted he couldn't be. How was she going to explain to her friend why I was nursing him??? I whisked him off to a very long diaper change after her friend arrived, topping him off enough to make it through the visit)Her story changed quickly, as she accepted all of us as a family. Both sets of grandparents treated him as their grandchild and for that we were thankful. We had told them both that he was our child.

We decided to start trying for another baby when Leo was a year old. Not looking forward to the roller coaster (or the barfing) we started the adventure all over again in the Spring of '97. This next part of the story could be very detailed and long...Suffice to say- #2 pregnancy ended in a blighted ovum, #3 ended in an early first trimester miscarriage, and #4 ended in an early second trimester miscarriage. These were hard, very. Each one more difficult than the last. The miscarriages took place over approximately two and a half years. Käri was of the mindset that one was fine, but I continued to want more. The frustration and doubts about being able to carry a baby to term was huge and while a large part of me felt like my body was killing babies, I wasn't ready to give up, yet.

A week into our fourth pregnancy we took a very alternative route and went to see the Woo-woo girl, as we affectionately called her. J had an advanced degree in Chinese medicine, and acupuncture. She also read chakras. That's the woo-woo part. At the time of the appointment I was barely moving. I had hurt my back and was in a lot of pain. We had inseminated the week before so I wasn't taking meds- not fun. We both went in to see J. She interviewed us about our medical history, treated me for my back, read our chakras, and told us I was pregnant. woo-woo...We reminded her that we didn't know yet I wasn't even due for my period for another seven days. She 'saw' that I was pregnant, but thought the baby wouldn't make it. She gave us some suggestions of things to do to try and maintain the pregnancy. She also told us that she could see two children just walking and Leo being around kindergarten age. She thought they might be both girls and she wasn't sure if they were twins or just very close in age.

We tried her suggestions for maintaining the pregnancy to no avail. That late miscarriage was sent for an autopsy, where it was discovered that the little baby girl had Turners Syndrome. While we grieved the loss, I felt like my body had rejected the baby for purely biological reasons...98% of all conceived Turners Syndrome girls spontaneously abort. Somehow, I felt like my body had done the right, but sad thing, according to the rules of the animal kingdom... It gave us some hope to continue on.

Our woo-woo girl had "prescribed" a combination of Chinese fertility herbs for Käri to try since Western medicine had not worked for her. Soon after the miscarriage she started...uh, taking them. Her shit balls, as she affectionately called them, were the size of a decent meat ball and looked like the inside of a fig newton. She would break them into smaller, pea size, pieces and swallow them down every day. According to J. many women just ate them and actually referred to them as her fertility cookies, she offered to roll them in cinnamon...Käri declined. In any case, two weeks later Käri had all the signs of ovulation, that were never very prominent before. We were amazed.

With our record over the last several years, my miscarriages and Käri's inability to conceive, we decided to both try at the same time. Oh, what fun. I know there is this theory that when you live with another woman or other women, you tend to follow the same cycle. For us, this was not true. Twice a month we were at it again, picking a donor, ordering sperm, calculating how long we could keep it until we needed it...and by this time we had switched to a sperm bank that was out of state so we had to consider shipping time. Once, when we knew we were going to be out when our "medical sample" arrived we had to ask our neighbor to sign for the package. Thankfully, we knew her well and told her it wasn't a kidney, but to please take good care of the box- our future was in her hands!

A few months passed with no success, until we hit the jackpot! Not only did we get pregnant the same month, but we actually ovulated and conceived on the same day. For the first time- and I swear still, the only time, we were on the same cycle. Again, because of our recent history we weren't sure either of the babies would stick around, but they did. Käri's pregnancy was very low key- never sick, mild discomfort and normal. Mine was hellacious. The morning sickness was so bad that I had to check myself into the local clinic several times a week for an i.v. bag of fluid to get re-hydrated. I threw up constantly. I was barely able to function and at it's worst Käri had to call my mom to fly up to help us out for a week. It was awful...the possibility of terminating the pregnancy came up once, when I just thought I couldn't take it anymore. Thankfully, that was at our lowest point, before I started getting re-hydrated through a needle.

Grace arrived on her due date just like Leo, and Gus arrived four days and six hours later. By the calendar they are five days apart. They shared a crib for the first many months and really are much like twins.

The first of our three sets of two...

Stay tuned for more!

edited to add: Leo started kindergarten and a few weeks later Grace and Gus started walking... woo-woo...

Nov 18, 2007

I Carry

I discovered this fun idea by way of this fabulous woman.

I carry...

A small leather backpack instead of a purse.

I carry...

200 lbs around with me every day.

I carry...

The wish that foster parents were no longer needed.

I carry...

Dreams for my children.

I carry...

The idea that we can all really get along.

I carry...

A swiss army knife in my backpack.

I carry...

The fantasy of financial wealth.

I carry...

Sadness and joy.

I carry...


I carry...

The desire to help, always.

And now, I carry...

Myself off to bed with the hopes that we make it through the night with no waking and no small bodies nestling in...

Nov 17, 2007


Today, was training day. I hate taking the time to go to trainings. It's part of the deal when you're a foster parent. A certain amount of hours a year in order to keep our license. It's not a tremendous amount of hours, and actually at the moment I can't even remember how many, 12-18, maybe.

Once I'm actually at the training, if it is at all interesting, appealing or stimulating, I walk away with more knowledge and hopefully more tools. It's grown-up time. A chance to talk about strategies for dealing with our kids. I always hear stories of other families that are struggling with similar issues, which is so oddly comforting. Tales are swapped, different ideas are suggested, methods are taught and not just by the instructor. I come home more energized about how to engage with my kids in a more positive manner. Re-charged and ready to go again. Excited to try something new, something that might help me, help mine.

And usually, they have treats... And I get to have lunch, all. by. myself. That part, I love.

Nov 16, 2007

We don't get out much

But last night, we did. It was fabulous. We sat in the restaurant for four hours- 4! Some friends invited us out to help celebrate a birthday, so we cashed in a birthday babysitting gift certificate, put five of the eight down for the night, and went out for the evening. I truly do not remember the last time we did this. On a school night to boot. By the time we headed in to bed it was close to 1:00 AM.

Other than sex with the wife, I think this is my favorite activity. I absolutely love to sit around eating, drinking, talking, and laughing. Doesn't matter if it's in someone's home or a drive in burger joint. Although, good food, good company, and good drinks, helps...

Some of my best memories are of hanging out at the dinner table, long after dinner was over. Family gatherings of cousins, aunts, and uncles, being old enough to join in with the adults, sitting around the table, listening, talking, playing spoons, Tripoley, FOIL, and later Pictionary. Chatting, snacking, lingering..., lingering, relaxing. Good times.
Good for the body, good for the soul.

We need to do this more than, once every I don't know when the last time was...

Nov 15, 2007

Dear Birth Mom

Abe and Mia were writing at the table. Scraps of paper, old pieces of stationery, pens and pencils. And without warning they asked me to write letters...

Dear Birth Mom,
It's Mia. I'm five. I love you. I've been missing you for a long time. I'm a big kid now and I've made a fort. I have a little dog and maybe you could come someday when you get bigger. You should remember me, because I'm the little baby from your tummy. And I was in your tummy a long, long time ago. You should remember me because I was in your tummy a long, long time ago. And i have Ruby and Julia and they are my little babies. I have a basket that has a lot of papers in it and I have a mom that's named mommy and mama. I love you so and you are old. Tell me where's your house? what's your phone number? You should tell me what color is your house? I'm in preschool in the Funny Frogs.



Dear Birth Mom,
I love you_____ because I know I was in your tummy a long, long time ago. I miss you very much. For a long I was in your tummy and I know that I miss you. My moms are named mommy and mama and they're my moms now. I have a new house, I just moved. I used to be in Lucky Ladybugs, but now I'm in Funny Frogs.l I used to not have a puppy, but I have a puppy named Dixie, now. I grown up and I want to be a mailman when I grow up, even a daddy. It was just Halloween. Did you sure have some candy to give to people? I'm not a baby anymore. Julia and Ruby are babies now. They're my babies. My sister, Mia, is bigger than me. I went to the dentist yesterday.



I told them we'd keep them until we knew where their birth mom was...

Nov 14, 2007


Go, go go, let's go, let's go, time for school!

Walk in 6th, 1st, Preschool... let's get home the oven repair person is coming!

Snack, wait a minute, I gotta pay bills, oops, what, oh... come on in, it won't light, bake doesn't work, oh, you fixed it last time, oh, a check? sure. lunch, we gotta go, time to pick up/drop off. bottle? milk? snacks? let's go!

Shit, late, call mommy on the cell- no answer, call mommy in the classroom- no answer, call mommy's teaching partner- no answer, damn...call preschool, please send the twins with C's mommy- Thank you!

We're here! Back in the stroller, let's go Jack- time for kindergarten... where are the twins?? Oh, thanks C's mom! Oh, a check? for the girl scout nuts, right. Sure. Good day Abe and Mia? Let's go bring Jack to kindergarten, pumpkin pie for today? no, Friday. Whew. Allright, let's go say hi to mommy. Oh, grandma. Hi, working in kindergarten? right, okay, have fun. Let's go! Dentist appointment in 40 minutes! Load up, let's go.

Lunch? Let's split some fries. Babies asleep, no? No nap? Yeesh... all done? time for the dentist. let's go. All four at once? Ruby, not Julia? They need to be together, they're only 21 months. Oh, okay. In a room, don't touch... Mia, wait here, she'll cal your name- you'll be right next to Abe. Open your mouth, honey, good job Mia, way to go Abe. Oh, good job guys, you're doing great. Initial here, here, here, and here. A check? sure. Let's go, back to school, oh wait, pet store for crickets for mommy's first grade frogs. All right, now let's go, we' have to pick up Grace, Gus and Jack. Load up.

Back to school. Everybody out. Babies are finally asleep...15 minute nap, at 3???? Let's go. Shhh... let's try not to wake up the babies... Mia, you okay?, ouch, shhh... damn, that woke up the babies. Big sigh... okay...collect Grace and Gus, collect Jack- Leo's staying after for a little help with fractions. Let's go, load up.

And we're home, garbage cans are in front of the driveway, not where I left them, thank you garbage collector. Everybody out, I'll move the cans back to the yard, Mia, careful, don't let the dog...out. Okay, it's okay, just go get her. Cans are in, dog's still out. Mia, just go get her, it's okay. I'll stay out with you for a few minutes while I clean up the leaves that are all over the street from the leaf collector. good, okay, put the dog in the house, Ruby out of the street! Let's go in the house, I need to cook dinner.

Dinner? dinner??...hmmm...dinner? defrost some ground turkey, start some rice, cornmeal, do we have cornmeal? everybody out of the kitchen!!! Chili, cornbread, rice, done. Mommy and Leo are home, yay! Grace set the table. dinner!, no, please wait until we all sit down,... no not yet, wait until everyone sits down... NO, not yet! Wait until mommy sits down. Okay, eat. More milk, more chili please, more honey bread, honey, more chili, more milk, more... sure, clear your milk cup, wash up. Abe and Mia get ready for bed...

Leo, piano, homework!, stop messing around guys, Mia, Abe ready for bed. Leo, Gus, Jack, quiet! Jack, homework, Grace and Gus homework- let's go! Babies off the table! Goodnight, Abe and Mia. Angels on your pillow! Love you.

2 down.

Jack, finished with that? time to get ready for bed, pajamas, story? Grace, Gus, stories? pajamas? babies, pajamas. Night, Jack, angels on your pillow, love you. homework folder in your basket, Grace and Gus? Ruby, say good night, kisses. Night, night, Ruby, angels on your pillow. Shhhh....shhhh, love you... Grace and Gus time for bed. Leo finished? piano too? time for a shower... Night, Grace and Gus, angels on your pillows, love you. All right Juj, your turn, say goodnight to mommy, kisses,
bottle, b.c., rocking... rocking...and down she goes. Night, Juj, angels on your pillow, love you. All done with the shower, Leo? All right bud, time for bed. Angels on your pillow, night babe, sleep well, love you.

Nov 13, 2007

Insane Asylum

The kids were were not living up to my expectations in the morning. Forgetting their coats, jumping over each other in the rush to get out of the van, pummeling one another to get out of the way...

So I go into Mom mode and start ranting about how they are making me insane, driving me crazy, not pissy, just annoyed and frustrated. One of the little muffins pipes up with "what's an insane asylum?" I explain that it's like a big house, with a bunch of crazy people in it... I glance in the van, looking at all those eager faces, wacky, hyped up, forgetful, children and realized, I already live in one!


Nov 12, 2007

The Jaws of Life

This is the way he returned home after a sleepover... "I tried running it under really hot water for like 15-20 minutes" He had it on his finger for over an hour before he arrived home. And, no mention from the parent in charge. Uh, hello? Would like to know, in the future, when my kid gets a digit stuck in a toy for more than a few minutes, thanks. To sound completely sexist, dad was in charge, mom was out. Leo was not a happy boy. We, of course, laughed. I mean really, how the hell do get a plastic toy blaster gun stuck on to your entire finger???

I may have even said at one point 'good thing it's not your penis'!

Up close and personal!

Most of it's gone...


Just add firefighter certificate right next to the medical license.

Nov 11, 2007

4 Things

Tagged from Cole.

4 Jobs I’ve Had

~ scooper, Baskin Robbins

~ cashier, Marine World Africa USA (when it was in Redwood City)

~ sandwich maker and barista (before they were called barista's)

~ social worker/case manager/therapist for severely emotionally disturbed kids in a residential treatment center.

4 Movies I Love

~ It's a Wonderful Life

~ The Goodbye Girl

~ Fried Green Tomatoes

~ Grease

4 TV Shows I Watch

~ Brothers and Sisters

~ M*A*S*H (so, it's in repeats...)

~ Food Network (anything that's on)

~ Ellen

4 Places I’ve Been

~ Dublin, Ireland

~ Boulder, Colorado

~ Reno, NV

~ Disneyland

4 Websites I Visit Daily


Lelo in Nopo


State of Grace

4 Foods I Love

~ ice cream

~ butter

~ garlic bread

~ tri-tip

4 Places I’d Rather Be

~ Bainbridge Island

~ Mexico

~ In the Sun

~ In a plush hotel with Kär without the kids

4 Blogs, just cuz

~ Mocha Momma

~ Gwendomama

~ And Baby Makes 6!

~ Under Construction

It's a Meme, but I'll be resisting the urge to tag. Feel free to take it on, if you want.

Nov 10, 2007


Never to young to start dancing on top of the tables!

Think that belly button's pierced?

Taa Daaa!!

Oops, guess she had one to many cups of milk. Good thing she has good friends to help pick her up...wait a minute, are they actually pushing her down???

Nov 9, 2007


I can't shake these two thoughts, dreams. They've been running for a while over and over - the other night I couldn't fall asleep switching back and forth between the two. Silly, really. One has nothing to do with the other.

The first is being able to go on the R Family cruise to Mexico this spring. Kelli O'Donnell (Rosie O'Donnell's partner)runs R family Vacations with Gregg Kaminsky. I can't honestly say that a cruise has been a desire for me, but the idea of being on a boat full of other gay and lesbian families or at least friendly folk, is so appealing. We live in a relatively small town and our kids don't see other families that look like theirs... Our spring break just happens to coincide with this cruise, it leaves from the West Coast instead of the East-which means we could drive instead of fly to the boat- I've always wanted to go to Mexico, and K and I will celebrate our 20th anniversary in 2008. For the whole family, yes all ten of us, it would be about $10,000.00, but that includes everything!! Really not to bad of a deal. Of course there would be passports to get and I'm sure other incidentals... Oh, I keep dreaming- it just won't go away.

The second is buying a deli. There is a sandwich shop opening near the high school. And I want to buy it and run it. I'm not even sure it's for sale...but I have reason to believe it will be. Six months ago another deli by the same name was for sale, I inquired. The owners explained that they have 15 or so of these deli's in Northern California. They open them, staff them, and then sell them. They train you as the new owners and provide some transition time. Sounds good to me. Of course the only business I've ever owned and run was a childcare, and then there's the babies, and all the other kids and schedules, school, etc... And money, it takes money to own a business.

Feasible? Realistic? yeah, not so much. Perhaps this post will release these particular dreams...

Nov 8, 2007

Long Explanation

On they way to school in our essentially surburban'ish town we passed a vacant field. There was a heavy mist lying over the entire field even though the roads were fog free and the sun was out. The kids started asking questions about this phenomenon- very perplexed, and I tried to explain about the moisture collecting in the field. How the earth was warming in the morning sun after a cold night and how it eventually turns to rain after evaporating...

There was a pause after my explanation.

Then Mia chimes in "Oh, I just thought it was a dying cloud".

Much better.

Nov 7, 2007


Here's a little tidbit to remember.

When you have nine carved pumpkins adorning your doorstep it is best to remove the candles immediately following Halloween. Because, when you are trying to dump the rotting carcasses in the 'clean green can' seven days later, when they are covered with nasty little fruit flies and your trying to be good and not include the candle in the container, they swarm onto your hands and into your face and it's gross and you feel all yucky and your kids scream as though you are filming a segment from The Birds.

Just remember that, okay?

Nov 6, 2007

Maybe closer to famous

I'm actually related by blood this time!

My cousin once removed, or is it my second cousin??? I can never remember. The boy in the dark green striped shirt- he is my cousin's son. He was just here a couple of weekends ago playing with all his cousins. His mom and I grew up together- she is much more like a sister.

The comments, most of them, make me very sad. I know, for my cousin, that her son was recruited to be an actor/model because not only is he darn cute, but very personable and sweet. He has never had to be bribed, cajoled, or pampered in any way in order to "perform". He is a very normal kid expressing a normal five year old imagination.

Yeesh, people!

edited to add
: I just realized that the way U-tube is embedded on the blog, you don't access the comments and that is a good thing. Although, I do then feel compelled to say that many comments on this video are from people who do not have children, hate children, or do not know children! Oh, and this is an add for Google- maybe they are coming out with a phone????

Nov 5, 2007

Silly and Extra Silly

The twins are in this space where they get into a really silly space. They laugh and giggle and laugh and yell and bump into each other, physically getting into each others space. They wrestle and show their tongues to one another and laugh and chortle and yell...and scream...and laugh...AND IT DRIVES ME INSANE!

Mostly, because they do all this while they are eating lunch or on the floor of the living room. I like some silly, but they are having a hard time distinguishing between a little and way over the top. I send them outside or upstairs and that helps, but not always. Meal time ends early for them sometimes, because they just can't stop. It's obvious they enjoy each other and for that, of course, I am grateful.

It's just that I feel so cruel ending their good times, limiting the laughter. No one usually gets hurt and they appear to be in such a happy place. For me, not so much.

Limits, boundaries, acceptable vs. non acceptable behavior, how to rein it in- oy. I know it will change and I'll miss it...someday, just not today or, I'm thinking, anytime soon.

Nov 4, 2007


I know there are plenty of historical reasons for Daylight Savings Time. Something about getting more daylight in the evening or the morning... And then there is the whole it's for farmers or it helps conserve energy or... I really just don't ultimately understand why we have to change our time for more light or whatever. If you want more daylight time during the winter can't you just set your alarm earlier. Why do we all have to change the clocks screwing up our body clocks, wrecking the kids bedtimes, mealtimes and wake up times. Every time it drives me nuts!

I looked it up on Wikipedia- I admit I couldn't make it through the entire article and I do recognize that Wiki is not the end all. Still even in that article opinions are conflicted. Read for yourself . What do you think???

Nov 3, 2007

The Children, part 2

Back in May, I wrote a post about our alternative lifestyle. It prompted a question which I started to answer here, here, and here.

Onwards to... part four, or two, depending on how you look at it.

Eighteen months of charting, picking a donor, is it too early to pick up the sample?, the sperm bank is closed on Sunday's, do we have enough dry ice to keep it frozen if we got it too early?, ovulation predictor kits, charting, temperature, mucus, waiting, waiting, waiting. At some point we consulted the MD's and did some more interventions, clomid entered the scene at some point and then there may have been a different drug, vaginal ultrasounds... The frustration at being unable to conceive, wishing, hoping, dreaming... Consulting baby name books, wondering what the baby would look like, figuring out the due date, trying not to talk about it, or be obsessed with 'trying', constantly. Each month passed with nothing but bleeding and dashed dreams.

As we got further and further into the process we started talking about the fact that this was one area in our lives that we were lucky we were two women. If it didn't work for Käri we had a built in back up plan, me. So after eighteen months, we jumped off the roller coaster.

My turn. My cycle was more predictable, temperature more reliable, and signs of ovulation were more obvious. We had high hopes that I could conceive. There was a period of letting the dust settle- to grieve the loss of Käri being unable to conceive and gather the energy to begin the ride again. We both felt ready after a few months off, and in the Spring of '95, started again. It's hard, now, to recall those feelings of anticipation and wanting, exactly. When I think back, what I feel is overwhelmed and how 'getting pregnant', conceiving a child, became everything. The doubts and worries- "maybe someone is trying to tell us something", "maybe we aren't meant to have children", "maybe these little vials of sperm aren't really", "are we doing it wrong?", "should we have sex before", "stand on my head after...?".

The second month we tried, I had this odd feeling about a week after we inseminated. A physical feeling. There was no unusual breast tenderness, nausea, or tiredness, but I had this distinct feeling that there was a...a... well, it felt like I had swallowed a fish weight and it had lodged itself above my right ovary. I call it a fishing weight. I don't know what they are really called... one of those little hunks of lead like balls, of some sort, that weighs the fishing line down. That's what I felt like I had in me. I would push on it, it had a presence, but it was not palpable. Odd. At some point in the week before we took the pregnancy test I thought it was a baby. It made no sense that I could feel something that was no bigger than a flea, but I did. When we took the test and it was positive, I wasn't surprised. Hard to fathom, but not surprised. I can picture myself taking a shower that morning, preparing for work, talking to Kär, knowing we were finally pregnant, but not trusting the reality. And then again, I can see myself, on the ferry and then traveling down the freeway towards work, with my hand over the little fish weight wondering if it was going to stick. Wondering how I would hide it from my co-workers, how would they not know...

Soon enough, they knew. It wasn't long before the barfing began. At a friends house, on a plane, on myself as I was driving down the freeway, in the middle of the street ('cuz it was all I could do to stop, let alone pull over and get out of the car), at work... all the damn time. The doctor's assured us it was a good sign- hard to take too much comfort in that- The pregnancy progressed without a hitch- other than throwing up, tiredness, aching crotch, sore back...the usual. Leo entered our lives on his due date, on Käri's birthday. I'll save the details of his birth, the bitch ob/gyn who was on call, labor, pushing, etc. To quote an old friend "Hey, if it's bigger than a tampon it's going to hurt like a bitch, right?" That sums it up pretty well.

He was a beautiful baby. A typical first born. Wouldn't sleep anywhere but in our arm's, always held, homemade baby food, dressed to kill at all times, loved, adored, much wanted. Something special about that first one, something pretty wonderful.

Finally writing this part 2/4 brings up so many other stories in my head. This is NaBloPoMo so maybe I'll get to some of those, and continue the story of course, we do have more than one kid, right?

Nov 2, 2007

Follow Up Appointment

We are lucky to live in a small enough town that we occasionally run in to people we know in places where it pays to know someone- like the ER. Such was the case the night Gus went in for stitches. The nurse who took care of him happened to be a dad at our school. At discharge, our nurse gave us a little to go kit for removing the stitches. He offered to remove the stitches in the nurses office at school instead of having to wait in the ER or make an appointment with our pediatrician. Swell! Twelve days came and went and we missed our nurse in the parking lot.

What's a mother to do??

Pull out her medical license, I say.

Nov 1, 2007

Happy Anniversary

What exactly do you get for the first anniversary of blogging? A year today, just realized it. Flowers, chocolate, coffee, cash... all accepted. Please no coffee mugs or bath accessories, my wife's a teacher, we have plenty of those.

Halloween, What Else?

The Four Big Boys!

Assembling for the photo... 16 out of the 17 children. Please note libation in my hand. All seven adults carried their beverage of choice, with the majority choosing beer, with a smattering of Pepsi. Caffeine or alcohol, hmmmm....

A fun night was had by all. Only one scraped knee in the bunch, but no tears! Plenty more photos to be seen if you click right on over on that flickr badge.

The final grouping- all 17! There is just the tiniest speck of Spiderman showing behind Obi Wan and Darth Vader.