If I know you, and you're reading this blog, you have two choices:

1) Feel free to pretend you haven't, should the contents be offensive, sensitive in nature, or just TMI (Too Much Information).
2) Comment freely or talk to me face to face, and be prepared for further honesty and opinions.

Okay? Okay.

Oct 28, 2008

From the backseat

As I mentioned earlier, my oldest son and I were talking politics on the way in to school today. Included in that discussion was the fact that I know of people who are not voting for Obama purely based on the fact that he is black.

Abe- "Mama, when I grow up are other grown ups going to boss me around?"

Me- 'Well, if you work somewhere, you'll probably have a boss that will tell you what to do..."

Abe- "No, I mean because my skin is dark. Will people boss me around because I have dark skin?"

Me- Swallow- "No Abe, like slaves is that what you mean? No, that doesn't happen anymore, everyone respects everyone else no matter what they look like"

Abe- "Oh, right 'cuz Abraham Lincoln fixed it and his name is the same as mine"

Me- "Right..."

All I can think about these days...

I'm starting to feel irrational about proposition 8. Silly me, getting all irrational over something that affects my life.

See, I'm not necessarily all that concerned about getting married- although yes I did just get married- call me a hypocrite if you will. It's really not the point is it? Marriage, I mean. It's about having the choice, being recognized as being just like everyone else, no different than John and Mary.

I'm all about hearing different opinions on everything- including prop 8 (or 102 in Arizona- the other one escapes me at the moment since I'm in a bit of a writing Frenzy) or anything else. I do believe everyone is entitled to their own opinion. And that I need to be respectful of that. There are different lines, I suppose. When I was of an age that I realized my white grandfather calling all Asian people Chinks or Asiatics was wrong, I would scoff at him and say "Oh, Pa" He knew, I knew and that was enough. If my child was to use the same derogatory language a simple scoff would not be enough. There would be a discussion of calling people names, how it makes them feel- perhaps a bit of history and a huge NOT OKAY!

I believe I mentioned a while back a discussion I had with my 12 year old regarding Bush- Leo was talking about how we hate him- I backed him up a bit and changed the verbiage- We (meaning mommy and I) don't agree with his politics, but I assume he is a nice man, father, friend...

I hear arguments for Prop 8 that quote the bible, that say they are protecting the "institution of marriage" of what it was meant to be, what it has always been, historically, religiously, as referred to by God. And when it comes down to the final line, the final bottom line?

What is really being said is I'm not good enough. I'm not "normal", not equal, different, wrong. My love, my life, my children, don't cut it. We are not allowed in.

Are we really that terrible? Such sinners, wrong doers, "sodomites". Go ahead, tell my children. Five of whom we "rescued" yeah, rescued, from lives full of drugs, violence and filth. Three who pediatricians and doctors have assured us would have died without our care.

Tell them we aren't good enough. That they are not good enough to live with us and have the same protections given to those who are the children of parents that are legally married- straight people. Our biological children had to be cross adopted so that we would be considered the legal other parent. Thousands of dollars for lawyers and court dates. Because we weren't legal.

Käri jokingly referred to me as a political activist, as I placed my 'No on 8' and Obama pins on my chest. We talked about Canada this morning... Good riddance the conservative right says...

On our way in to school this morning, Leo says "I don't get the Yes on 8 signs- they say they are protecting marriage- how are they protecting marriage". I explained how some (benefit of the doubt here) of the Yes on 8 commercials and ad's are misleading some in fact plain 'ol wrong. "Isn't that illegal", he says. (Putting wrong information in their ad's) We talk about political battles... He shakes his head and says "I just don't get it". "Me either" I say and inside I seethe.

There are few things in my life that I get hot and bothered about. At this point I am riding a fine line between tolerating a different opinion than mine (on 8) and saying "I can no longer associate with you".

I'm losing it. Losing my tolerance, my acceptance. It'll come back, but right now, just livid.

Remember that film about blue eyed kids being better that brown eyed kids- It was a psych. film, an experiment, and how the kids reacted. There were superior attitudes and tears. The better and the worse. The included and the isolated. At the moment, isolated... and pissed.

"Love does not delight in injustice but rejoices in the truth" Corinthians 13:6

Oct 20, 2008

Anti-Miscegenation, Marriage, and Proposition 8

In an effort to educate myself on Prop 8, I was reading up on the 14th Amendment and Anti-Miscegenation laws. There is a lot to read out there... These were some pieces that I found interesting.

I copied a lot of information from Wiki- These are all regarding Anti-Miscegenation, not gay marriage or any reaction to DOMA.

"Miscegenation (Latin miscere "to mix" + genus "kind") is the mixing of different racial groups, that is, marrying, cohabiting, having sexual relations and having children with a partner from outside of one's racially or ethnically defined group."

"In 1958, the political theorist Hannah Arendt, an emigre from Nazi Germany, wrote in an essay in response to the Little Rock Crisis, the Civil Rights struggle for the racial integration of public schools which took place in Little Rock, Arkansas in 1957, that anti-miscegenation laws were an even deeper injustice than the racial segregation of public schools. The free choice of a spouse, she argued in Reflections on Little Rock, was "an elementary human right": "Even political rights, like the right to vote, and nearly all other rights enumerated in the Constitution, are secondary to the inalienable human rights to 'life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness' proclaimed in the Declaration of Independence; and to this category the right to home and marriage unquestionably belongs."

I love what this woman had to say.

"In 1967, the United States Supreme Court unanimously ruled in Loving v. Virginia that anti-miscegenation laws are unconstitutional. With this ruling, these laws were no longer in effect in the remaining 16 states that at the time still enforced them."

Midred and Richard Loving

41 years ago- 16 states still enforced laws regarding whites marrying non whites- 41 years ago...

"...it took South Carolina until 1998 and Alabama until 2000 to officially amend their states' constitutions to remove language prohibiting miscegenation. In the respective referendums, 62% of voters in South Carolina and 59% of voters in Alabama voted to remove these laws."

Only 62% and 59%? Holy hell.

"On June 12, 2007, Mildred Loving issued a rare public statement prepared for delivery on the 40th anniversary of the Loving v. Virginia decision of the US Supreme Court, which commented on same-sex marriage.[8] The concluding paragraphs of her statement read as follows:"

Surrounded as I am now by wonderful children and grandchildren, not a day goes by that I don't think of Richard and our love, our right to marry, and how much it meant to me to have that freedom to marry the person precious to me, even if others thought he was the "wrong kind of person" for me to marry. I believe all Americans, no matter their race, no matter their sex, no matter their sexual orientation, should have that same freedom to marry. Government has no business imposing some people's religious beliefs over others. Especially if it denies people's civil rights.

I am still not a political person, but I am proud that Richard's and my name is on a court case that can help reinforce the love, the commitment, the fairness, and the family that so many people, black or white, young or old, gay or straight seek in life. I support the freedom to marry for all. That's what Loving, and loving, are all about.

Tomorrow, to celebrate 20 years together, we're getting married, again (the first was deemed against the law- thanks for trying Mayor Newsom).

Oh, and just for the record, I'm voting No on 8. You should too.

I recently had this to say over here.

"I would agree that the thought of ripping the YES on 8 signs out of my neighbors lawns did cross my mind. For me, it didn't come from a place of hate. It came from a place of fear and discouragement.

I didn't and wouldn't tear the signs out. I believe in the right of free speech and equality for all, and all opinions, even ones I don't agree with.

Thus the reason I will vote No on 8- without hesitation."

Oct 19, 2008

Hey, Sarah Palin

I've said I don't want to waste a lot of energy bashing or even discussing Sarah Palin- but this, this is damn funny!!

I didn't go looking for it, it found me.

More milk

Gus "Can I have some more milk"

Me "Why is it we have to always feed you and give you things to drink? What's the deal???" said jokingly , of course...


Gus "Hey, you born me- get used to it!"

Oct 10, 2008



Lumps where they don't belong

Look okay, but one is suspicious



Clean bill of health and another fifty years, please

Happy Birthday to me


Dr. says all looks good

Surgery went well

Still in Recovery

Oct 3, 2008

Questions for the Dyke

Stolen from Kathryn...

Are you sure of your sexual orientation? Or are you confused? Not confused. But for the record, I'm still attracted to men in a 'I wouldn't kick his shoes out from under my bed' kind of way.

Are you open with your sexuality? Or is it a secret? I'm out, mostly, but not completely- entirely. I'm careful around strangers, sometimes parents at school- often leaving out pronouns or referring to 'my family', omitting direct references to Käri and/or her gender.

Who was the 1st person you told that you’re a lesbian? My straight friend/roommate from high school/college as I lay in a heap unable to eat. She surprised me by accepting it without hesitation. In fact I believe she said something along the lines of - okay, so now what....

Is your hair short, medium, or long? Short. I've tried slightly long, but cannot stand it.

Would you ever shave your head? Yes, but it would be ugly.

Do you own anything with the Gay Rainbow on it? Yes- stickers on the car.

Do you consider yourself a Stud, Androgynous, or Femme? Not a Femme, not a Stud, not Androgynous... No makeup, men's shorts, pink floral shirt, and Keens...hmmm...

What type of females are you most attracted to? Butch, but Käri is anything but, and I love all her curves.

What FAMOUS Lesbian is your favorite? Rosie O'Donnell

Do you like watching The L Word? Yes.

What is your favorite lesbian movie? Can't remember any of the few I've seen.

Do you have any Pride tattoos? If not, would you ever get one? No- maybe.

Do you go to Gay/Lesbian clubs? No. There aren't any where I live. Although I would love to hangout in a Gay/Lesbian coffee shop/bar/bookstore/dinner house...

Would you ever be a Drag King? (If you’re not already) Yeah, I don't think so.

What name would you go by if you did do Drag? Would that be a boys name or girls??? Probably my alter ego Trixie or maybe Molly.

Have you ever been mistaken for a Male? Since I was a kid- many times.

Would you ever have a sex change to become a Male? No.

How do you feel about Homophobia? Ridiculous, fear driven, ignorance.

How do you feel about Gays/Lesbians having children? Let's see... :) If they want 'em and are ready for the challenge- Go!

If it were legal, would you marry another Female? We did it once already and will do it again on our 20th anniversary this month!

Have you ever attended a Gay Pride Festival? Oh yes- such affirmation.

Do you wear make-up? Nope.

Do you carry a wallet - or a purse? Leather backpack, but I tend to leave it in the car a lot and just carry my wallet if I'm going to need it or just money and cards in my pocket.

Do you wear Male clothes? I love men's clothes- always have. Unfortunately, my ass is too big for most of the pants- and pink is my favorite color to wear.

Do you prefer wearing cologne instead of perfume. Neither.

Do you have several piercings & tattoos? I guess, one tat and three holes in my ears.

Do you have a crush on a female celebrity, if so, who? I love Whoopi.

Do you have more Gay/Lesbian/Bi friends than you do Straight friends? Almost all straight.

Have you ever been gay bashed? Not that I am aware of.

Did anyone stop having contact with you after you came out of the closet? No.

What is your favorite gay/lesbian quote? Can't say that I have one- although I do like the "There's more of us than you think".

Do you believe you were born a lesbian? I think so, yes.

Are you proud? Or ashamed of your sexuality? Proud, never ashamed. Careful sometimes, but never ashamed.