If I know you, and you're reading this blog, you have two choices:

1) Feel free to pretend you haven't, should the contents be offensive, sensitive in nature, or just TMI (Too Much Information).
2) Comment freely or talk to me face to face, and be prepared for further honesty and opinions.

Okay? Okay.

Oct 28, 2008

All I can think about these days...

I'm starting to feel irrational about proposition 8. Silly me, getting all irrational over something that affects my life.

See, I'm not necessarily all that concerned about getting married- although yes I did just get married- call me a hypocrite if you will. It's really not the point is it? Marriage, I mean. It's about having the choice, being recognized as being just like everyone else, no different than John and Mary.

I'm all about hearing different opinions on everything- including prop 8 (or 102 in Arizona- the other one escapes me at the moment since I'm in a bit of a writing Frenzy) or anything else. I do believe everyone is entitled to their own opinion. And that I need to be respectful of that. There are different lines, I suppose. When I was of an age that I realized my white grandfather calling all Asian people Chinks or Asiatics was wrong, I would scoff at him and say "Oh, Pa" He knew, I knew and that was enough. If my child was to use the same derogatory language a simple scoff would not be enough. There would be a discussion of calling people names, how it makes them feel- perhaps a bit of history and a huge NOT OKAY!

I believe I mentioned a while back a discussion I had with my 12 year old regarding Bush- Leo was talking about how we hate him- I backed him up a bit and changed the verbiage- We (meaning mommy and I) don't agree with his politics, but I assume he is a nice man, father, friend...

I hear arguments for Prop 8 that quote the bible, that say they are protecting the "institution of marriage" of what it was meant to be, what it has always been, historically, religiously, as referred to by God. And when it comes down to the final line, the final bottom line?

What is really being said is I'm not good enough. I'm not "normal", not equal, different, wrong. My love, my life, my children, don't cut it. We are not allowed in.

Are we really that terrible? Such sinners, wrong doers, "sodomites". Go ahead, tell my children. Five of whom we "rescued" yeah, rescued, from lives full of drugs, violence and filth. Three who pediatricians and doctors have assured us would have died without our care.

Tell them we aren't good enough. That they are not good enough to live with us and have the same protections given to those who are the children of parents that are legally married- straight people. Our biological children had to be cross adopted so that we would be considered the legal other parent. Thousands of dollars for lawyers and court dates. Because we weren't legal.

Käri jokingly referred to me as a political activist, as I placed my 'No on 8' and Obama pins on my chest. We talked about Canada this morning... Good riddance the conservative right says...

On our way in to school this morning, Leo says "I don't get the Yes on 8 signs- they say they are protecting marriage- how are they protecting marriage". I explained how some (benefit of the doubt here) of the Yes on 8 commercials and ad's are misleading some in fact plain 'ol wrong. "Isn't that illegal", he says. (Putting wrong information in their ad's) We talk about political battles... He shakes his head and says "I just don't get it". "Me either" I say and inside I seethe.

There are few things in my life that I get hot and bothered about. At this point I am riding a fine line between tolerating a different opinion than mine (on 8) and saying "I can no longer associate with you".

I'm losing it. Losing my tolerance, my acceptance. It'll come back, but right now, just livid.

Remember that film about blue eyed kids being better that brown eyed kids- It was a psych. film, an experiment, and how the kids reacted. There were superior attitudes and tears. The better and the worse. The included and the isolated. At the moment, isolated... and pissed.

"Love does not delight in injustice but rejoices in the truth" Corinthians 13:6


Amy said...

Tricia, I'm not sure how to respond just yet - your post begs for more than a flippant agreement. I have had lots of conversations with Dylan about Prop 8 and it's frightening to see how much the media already influences his knowledge. I stand apart from the majority of those folks with whom I am "identified" on this issue. You know that my faith and church home are super-important to me. But seeing into your family and knowing how much you love your children has been very real to me. I truly believe that it is not my call to legislate or determine gay marriage as "immoral". If your family structure is "sinful", well, I'm just as sinful as you when I covet my neighbor's bigger house. But a lot more good comes from you loving your kids than me wanting granite countertops and wood floors. It's a difficult thing for me to wrap my head around but I wanted you to know that I am listening and thinking about you and your family lots.

Anonymous said...

How can we continue tolerating their intolerance? It's just something old, violence brings up violence and intolerance IS violence! I hope the NO on 8 wins! I really do! For you and your family and many families who just deserve it (like mine! How much I would like a same sex MARRIAGE law in Mexico!)

MommyNay said...

It all leaves me without words, so I'm glad you found yours and could get this out there. Its really hitting me hard. Our town is very conservative and we have people standing on corners and in front of stores holding yes on 8signs every which way we turn. More houses have yes on 8 than don't have a sign at all and Ive only seen 2 vote no signs yet. This Saturday I had to take Olivia to Target for a birthday gift for a friend and we had to pass a group of about 50 shouting NO on 8, protect our children! It was all I could do to get Olivia into that store and to her party on time. I am feeling so livid and like you said isolated. It makes me want to move--but what will that solve? I don't think it ever occured me that in the year 2008 we would be facing this, the reaction and actions to this prop have completely left me feeling well I just can't find the word.

Tricia said...


I appreciate the thoughts for our family.

Morality- now that's just a loaded word. I have responses rolling in my head but nothing I can spit out.

I am at the point where the issue has become black and white. Church and religion aside, Proposition 8 seeks to alter our state sanctioned, if you will, constitution, to prohibit gay and lesbians from getting married.

Nobody is changing church bylaws or seeking to.

A vote for Yes is a direct slap in the face to me- simple.

MommyNay said...

I'm a big dork, I said "NO on 8" when really the folks with the signs were shouting vote "YES on 8".

Tricia said...

I knew that! Even so hard to go shopping with anyone yelling anything...

Anonymous said...

we had a family at our mall (where i admit we were), yes on 8 shirts and signs, and i'm proud to say that i went to customer service and got them removed, they didn't have a permit and i asked if the mall wants a good percentage of their customers like me to feel unwelcome. Goodbye!

I just can't get it either. Imagine, taking your kids to the mall to show everyone that you're intolerant of gay people. Sheesh.

gwendomama said...

I am so glad you raised this issue. I just said to a good friend how freaked out I am getting at my own intolerance. Just seeing McPalin signs in my neighborhood seems like a personal insult. To see 'YES ON 8' just insults everyone's freedom, and I am BECOMING VERY INTOLERANT OF THIS.