I left the movie feeling ashamed and embarrassed to be a white person. Recognizing that I wasn't one of the characters in the movie. Knowing I wasn't a racist asshole, but still embarrassed. I looked at the posters that the Nazi's plastered on the wall in Italy with disgust and wondered how and why they reminded me of caricatures of black people eating watermelon.
Do all people see those images in their minds eye? Was it something I've seen before so it reminded me of that? Is it because I'm white and inherently racist towards others of a different color that the image floated into my brain? Am I inherently racist? Does being white make me prejudiced?
For years now I've wanted to adopt a black baby. Is that because I have some old fashioned, distorted, racist, view of "all black babies being cute". Or because of a dream that I have had about having a little African American boy in my home- a real dream? Or is it the fantasy of having so many children all different shades of browns and pinks? Or is it my need to rescue and help and being haunted by the images of the orphanages in Africa?