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Jun 17, 2008

First Time for Everything

As a large family we endure many of the questions most large families do- such as

"Are they all yours?"

"Do you run a child care?"

A personal favorite "They can't be all yours..can they?"

Tonight ,after a late large lunch ,we decided to take the kids to the local Baskin Robbins for dollar scoop night in lieu of dinner. They all gathered around a couple of tables and ate somewhat quietly while the other diners looked us over.

The family sitting closest to us (mom, dad, and one child, maybe 4) were murmuring to each other, counting heads, and just generally checking us out. Finally, mom asked "are they all yours?" followed by "are you a group home?". Käri was feeling brave and like being a smart ass. When the woman gestured about and inquired loosely "well, then, um, how did , um, you..."

Käri says "I slept around a lot".

The woman laughed and we both explained the tale- bio's, foster care, adoption, "yes we have had some kids who we didn't adopt, no, we haven't kept them all, yes, it's very hard to say goodbye..." The usual.

We were all getting up to leave and a couple of the kids needed to wash up so I stuck around the exit door waiting for the stragglers while Kär headed out to the van.

At this point, the husband approaches me and stretches out his hand. I meet his eyes and glance at his hand. He's holding out money. Offering me money. I'm a bit stunned, but quickly tell him "Thank you, that's very sweet, but please give it to the gentleman in the parking lot who's asking for a hand- he needs it much more than we do" He pushes it towards me again, and again I decline, but thank him for the offer.

He never really says anything, just offers the cash and gestures towards the kids.

A first. Most definitely a first.

Now, if your Oprah, or some other wealthy philanthropist, we'd be happy to accept college funds for all the kids, a lifetime of Costco gift cards, or Sears... ;)


Bacchus said...

Wow! I would never think to do that. You handled it very graciously.

Tracey said...

Interesting... not sure how I'd have felt about that. I know he had good intentions, but, well... if you'd had 8 biological children, would he have offered you money? I mean, no matter how they came into your family, they're YOUR children... Hmmm...

Kari cracks me up... :)

Kara said...

The oddball things people say - my personal favorite from the people we know is "I can't believe how much they look like you". Um Ok, we didnt pick them out of a line-up. URGHHHH.

That was odd about the dude handing you $$ -Though if Oprah or Bill Gates comes knocking will you also give them my link to my blog? :-)

gwendomama said...

I heart Kari with an umlaut. and Tracey has the best point. I would make it but she already did.

Gawdess said...

you are hilarious-what a weird story.

Tricia said...

I have to look at it as the kindness of strangers...

They are our children, but most of them were not always ours. And that is different than many other families- not that we deserve it more, or at all...

I do understand the gesture and see it as a clear 'this family has helped these kids and I want to help them'. In fact, in a way, I was worried that I offended the guy by not taking it, not accepting his kind gesture.

blahblahblah said...

You should have used the money for beer. And you should have told him thanks for the beer money.