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Feb 28, 2007

Have I told You Lately

A friend of mine lost her husband about a year ago. She is an acquaintance through my son's school, our kids are in the same grade. She is a woman of strength. I don't know her well, but I call her a friend.

You can still read the depth of her grief on her face. She doesn't appear to be as lost as she was right after his death, but the grief, the sorrow, the loss, the aloneness is there.

It is in my nature to reach out to help, but I don't know what I can do for her. I know she has a support system and I am sure she is slowly healing, recovering from this blow, but still I feel for her. We just passed the one year anniversary of her husband's death and I just can't get her, or her husband, off my mind. I saw her, briefly, on the playground last week and let her know I was thinking of her...

Somehow I am hoping this release into cyberspace will help me to let go.

A few days after he died, I brought Julia over for her to hold- something about holding a new life when someone has just died. Julia was only two weeks old at the time- I think I will always remember that as part of Julia's story-

I had been questioning accepting two more children into our already large family. Concerned that others would criticize us, question our motives, accuse us of 'having more kids for the money' (like there is any truth to that statement!). Questioning our own limitations, level of exhaustion, stress, lack of money, etc., etc... when I attended the funeral.
I sat and watched and cried and walked away secure in knowing that we are parents because we love these children.
We may be done or we may continue to grow- I've learned to never say never. But, I have Jim to thank for that.

And for Vikki, I wish peace. I hope that missing the touch of the man she loves, lessens. I hope the nights are easier.

'...For the morning Sun in all it's glory
greets the day with hope and comfort too...'


Sandy. said...

If only there were more people like you . . . kind and insightful.


Tricia said...

Thanks Sandy...

Tracey said...

I know... there isn't anything we can DO to make it better, but I think that by just being available and letting her know that you care helps.

jen said...

Your family is wonderful.
Looking forward to reading more.

Kerri Cooley said...

Gosh Tricia, I just saw her a few days ago and I was thinking a lot of the same. She does still look lonely and I'm not always sure what to say to her. I was thinking about how it had to be close to a year since I know it was close to our Auction time. I wish I knew too how to help comfort her. I miss seeing her bright smile.