I rarely had anything that was mine. Many of my clothes were hand-me-downs. Toys were shared. I can clearly picture myself at the dinner table, arms wrapped around my plate protecting my food. My oldest brother wouldn't so much steal my food, as just screw around with it. My seat in the station wagon was often in between the oldest two boys in order to diminish their fighting- instead they fought over and around me.
Having my own space was rare. Although, as a sophomore in high school I became an only child and that was very strange to have my own space, but that is another story.
I discovered blogs and started my own around two years ago. Blogs and blogging became my thing. The computer became my amigo.
It turns out that Leo also enjoys the computer, and every chance he can get he will ask to use mine. He creates these fabulous spoofs, using Garage Band, editing, adding, generating these amazing pieces of art- amongst other things. Problem is, I don't want to share.
I want this computer to be MY computer. I want to play at my leisure, leave a million tabs open and flood my desktop if I want ,and not have anyone disturb it. Kind of like when I lived by myself in college and used the same utensils, plates, and pots over and over again, using them, cleaning them, and returning them to the dish drainer. No one ever came in and made a mess of the kitchen, turned on the radio, or left their crap all over the couch. The house and it's contents were mine all mine- for a short time anyway. (Inevitably my roommates would return from their summer break and invade my space).
I want to whimper when he asks to use it and sometimes I do. It has gotten so bad that even if I am not planning on using the computer in the near future, I still want to say no- just so it's there, if I change my mind.
I'm at the point where I am ready to by a new computer (the current one is very outdated) for the household, so he can fool around on that, leaving mine alone. Selfish, but true.
Tomorrow- Blogher! And, hey, I get to meet my roommate in real life!
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