I'm It

Six Things about me that I haven't shared before?

1. A long time ago I did something(s) that could be considered either a misdemeanor or a felony- depending on the discretion of the court. It was a folly of youth. I was under age and I never got caught. I am assuming that the statute of limitations has run out.

2. Along those same lines...I used to go to traffic court (all those speeding tickets- opps) as a minor and represent myself even though you were supposed to have a parent bring you. It surprises me a little that I had the huevos to do that.

3. I was in love with a girl in high school, but didn't recognize it until a few years later.

4. I came very close to losing my virginity when I was in seventh grade- but then didn't until I was 18. (Does that count as two things? I think it does.) and 5.

6. Criminy... I'm pretty much an open book and am having a hard time thinking of something that I haven't written about before... This evening I ignored my dirty kitchen to spend time on my computer sipping a cocktail before the bedtime madness.

Will that do?

It's going to have to, because now the bedtime flurry has begun. Two down, six to go... And the kitchen waits!


I'll tag: Zipntizzy, Lelo, Sheesha, Laurie (NJAC) and Jody (ABM6).

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Knowing and Wondering

I finished a book yesterday.

I love to read, but often don't make the time. One of the problems I find is that once I've started I don't want to put the book down- even when my children need something. I also get perturbed if I am interrupted while reading a book. It's not as bad if I'm reading a blog or magazine article- perhaps it has something to do with the length of the book or a deeper level of thought and involvement- on my part- when I'm reading a novel.

I try to read at night, but am often too tired. I'll hold the book in my hands as I'm laying in bed, with my bedside lamp on, and then roll over, put the book down, and turn off the light. All without even turning a page.

The last couple of months I've made a renewed effort and have been successful in finishing several books. I alternate between trash and worthwhile stuff. I love Maeve Binchy, Belva Plain and Pat Conroy, Anne Lamott, and Sue Monk Kidd.

Yesterday, while supervising the clean up of the family room (one of these days I'll remember to take a before and after picture), I finished Forever Lily. I wasn't thrilled with the style. The writer told her story interspersed with many dreams. The dreams were part of the story, but I got to the point that while I knew they were significant, I just wanted to skip them to keep reading the story.

Beth Russell describes her trip to the Chinese orphanage in anguishing detail. The babies two to a crib, lying silently, in row after row; the older ones bundled thickly and bound in a sitting position in a chair, lining the hallway. Most of them girls. Waiting. Some waiting for families, some waiting to die. They don't cry because they know it doesn't get their needs met.

It's not a surprise that the author ends up with the baby. It is clear throughout the story that she and the baby were destined to be together.

I finished the book, knowing that this is why we have eight kids. It is destiny. It is our path. I don't think we are done yet- and that is why I keep say never say never. I'm not attracted to babies just because they are cute and vulnerable, begging to be held and cared for. It's because I am supposed to be there for them.

Even today, as I am whiny and cranky from not having enough 'me time', I realize that it's true. Even after a trip to the local doc in a box on Saturday, at bedtime for a two year old's bladder infection, and after Grace vomited at Applebee's (we left a very big tip) last night. Even after I finally pulled up the piece of carpeting, in the closet, that Abe had used as his own personal litter box. Even after I look forward to sleeping all night long. I wonder when the next phone call will come. I wonder if we will say yes, again.

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Continuing the Conversation

The twins love to jabber. They will talk about anything, anytime, filling the space with the sound of their own voices... Yesterday, while we drove home from kindergarten, we had part 312 in this conversation . It went like this-


Mia: When I grow up, can I have a baby?

Me: Only if you want to

Mia: Well, if I do, how does my belly know I want to grow a baby?

Me: You get to be in charge of your body and make that decision when you get to be an adult.

Mia: What if I can't get a baby in my belly?

Me: Than you can adopt.

Mia: Does that happen?

Me: Yep. Lots of people want to have a baby grow inside of them but for some reason it doesn't always work.

Abe: What if I want to want to have a baby? I can't because I'm not a girl. Only a girl can have a baby.

Me: That's true, but you could adopt, or if your partner is a girl, then she might want to have a baby by getting pregnant. Or if she doesn't want to get pregnant or can't, then you could adopt.

Abe: Well, but, I'm going to live with you forever, so I think that I will just help Mia take care of her babies and we can still live in our house.

Mia: We'll have to get bigger beds.

Me: You don't have to share a bed. You could be in different beds.

Mia: Oh.

Abe: And then I can help, and you can be one of the grandmas.

Me: Okay.

Mia: If I get to decide when I have a baby, then I want to have one now!

Me: Oh no, you have to wait until you're a grown up.

Mia: Oh, right, okay.




Me... Please, oh, please, wait...

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The End

Their bodies glisten, shimmering as they emerge from the water, dripping. Pulling themselves up and out. Fingertips, elbows, belly, one knee up- akimbo like, then the other. They hoist themselves, water streaming, to the deck. Laughing, chattering, they leap again.

Repeat.

Repeat.

Repeat.

Summer is almost over. New backpacks for the new kindergardners have arrived, shiny and unstained, embroidered with their first name. A family tradition. Number five and six begin next week. How is that possible?

I look forward to the return of the routine, the schedule. I will miss the easy days of summer, endless breakfast, as they each wake up at their own pace and come to the kitchen. Cleaning up after each breakfast session over and over... well, okay, I won't miss that part.

I can't believe the school year is here.

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Waiting

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