Right Wing Thinking

Dear Anonymous,

We are blessed with a beautiful family. Most of our children came from foster care. I am thankful for their lives and cannot imagine how we got to be so lucky.

Jack is #6 from his birth mother and at least that from his birth father- as far as we know. All of his birth siblings are involved in the foster care system.

Mia and Abe are #5 and #6 from their birth mother. I don't know the birth father's information. Two of their birth siblings are adopted by a relative. One of them was diagnosed with mental retardation and autism. After much intervention, counseling and stability, the thought is that much of his issues are due to the abuse and neglect that he suffered and witnessed. The other has significant social issues. Of the other two, one is in long term foster care, deemed "unadoptable". And the oldest is living with a relative after his long term foster care situation could no longer tolerate the killing of animals and fire setting. We know he was the victim of sexual abuse before the age of three. All six of these children witnessed drug abuse and were exposed to multiple drugs, instability, filth, hunger, domestic violence, etc.

Julia is also #6. The other five birth siblings have been placed in the care of a relative, whom CPS and State Adoptions claims is "marginal". We are aware that the birth parents have tried to abduct them at least once and the police were called. There is a long history of drug use by both birth parents. We have heard that mom is pregnant with #7.

Ruby is # 1. Her birth mother was seventeen when she gave birth. There was no prenatal care, she was homeless, and disclosed i.v. methamphetamine use daily during pregnancy as well as alcohol, marijuana, and nicotine. We have been told her birth father resides in Mexico. Ruby was also born with a very rare metabolic disorder that can kill her if not properly managed- and even then could kill her. Her birth mother and father are carriers for this disease, it is a genetic disorder. The birth parents are unaware of this due to birth mother's addiction and subsequent disappearance.

Each adoption is weighed with sadness. Sadness for the child, sadness for the birth parents.

Each birth mother is under the age of 32. Only one is unable to have more children.

I worked with children, ages 5-12, in a residential treatment center. These kids were placed in a treatment center because they were unable to remain in foster care due to their extreme behaviors. Fire setters, sexual offenders (yes, at age 5), violence towards others, suicidal, runners, etc. Each child had a horrific history filled with details to difficult to imagine. I cannot remember exact numbers anymore, but these children had been through multiple, multiple, foster placements.

Here's where I come from.

Some of these children survive, many do not. And of those that do- a hugely significant amount of them establish the same patterns of their birth parents and the cycle is repeated.

You, I assume, are one that has "made it". I admire and respect that. Truly. I hope that you, your sib's, and mother are well.

I do not wish that you, or your siblings, were not born.

Sincerely,

Tricia

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