Like Cream

It's amazing to watch and witness, really- the rise to the top.

We took a road trip, the five littles and I, yesterday. Two hours up and another three plus back. My Jackie- my middle boy- such a middle child... he took over. On the trip he was the oldest, beating out the twins by seven months and the girls by four years, at age eight.

He was helpful, the leader, the passer of food to the back, unbuckling to make sure I didn't miss a spot washing the windshield at the gas station- something he is normally never allowed to do. His normal seat in the van, is in the last row, purposefully placed in the back, because of his antics and booming voice, two seats away from his older brother. On the way back home he switched to the front row- after asking first, "so, I could help you better".

Jack, sneaky Jack. My Jack who has trouble remembering that only his belongings fit in his pockets. Jack who is the first to have a negative attitude, to always say no, to fight change, to argue that he is not wet, as he drips on the floor. Jack who claims innocence, as he stands two shelves up in the pantry, with his hand in the cookie jar.

He consoled Juj, when she was cranky and ready to be home. He was sweet to Mia explaining that "mama just told you how long". He offered to cheer up Ruby after she dropped her last piece of snack below her car seat by "talking to her about Hoppy". He interpreted my ramblings for Abe who couldn't quite understand what I was trying to tell him. He watched out for the little girls as they traveled on their quest to "find deer poop". He patiently explained to me what happened to Mia as she returned crying up the path. He came to me outside and asked permission to watch a tv show the others had not seen before...

I know he has it in him- and we certainly see signs of it now and again. Makes me want to give him more opportunity instead of not.

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Yes.

I've had this conversation more times than I can remember- "you are so amazing" I repeatedly tell folks- really, I'm just crazy. Who has eight kids, anymore? Not many really, truly large families out there. I don't consider 3 or even 4 to be large. I'm not so amazing, I swear!

Yes, I yell at my kids. Too much.

Yes, I drink at night. Not enough. I haven't had a cocktail or beer since mid-April- not necessarily by choice, just by circumstance.

Yes, two of the four toilets are rimmed with dried pee. Not too mention the sink, tub, counter or floors in said bathrooms.

Yes, I have washed the hardwood floors since we moved in here over three years ago. The entire floor? Maybe, once or twice, maybe.

Yes, I do mow the lawn. Usually weekly- but not always, and I only edge maybe once a month.

Yes, my kids put their own laundry away. I'm too frustrated and lazy too make sure it is put away correctly.

Yes, my kids have gone to bed without dinner as a consequence/punishment for bad choice/behavior.

Yes, I leave my kids in the car while I run into the store for a quick thing- only if I'm parked in front of the store and I can see the car and occupants. (and yes, I know it's not safe and against the law)

Yes, I do sometimes kick a clear path from our bedroom to the kitchen and upstairs before I go to bed. Instead of picking the crap up off the floor.

Yes, there are hidden, and some not so hidden, stacks of papers in several places around the house.

Yes, sometimes I hide ice cream, chips, chocolate, or other food and then hide myself from my children and eat it.

Yes, our kids bathe. 2-4 times a week. And in the summer? Isn't that what the pool is for?

Yes, the kids bed sheets get washed! When they pee in them, after they throw up in them, or get a bloody nose, or stink... Otherwise, it is often weeks or even months in between washings.

Yes, I miss having alone time with Käri- really truly kidless time because we don't take the time to hire someone we trust to watch them and only rely on friends to do that and really, how many times can you ask?

Yes, the breakfast dishes are still sitting on the counter at 2:23 in the afternoon while I spend time on facebook and reading blogs telling my 6 year old twins to "Shhhhh... I'm trying to read and write here, I'll fix your bikes when I'm done". (And yes, it's actually working today!)




Yes, eight is enough.There's a nice ring to 10, too... Eleven is heaven????

Time to fix some bikes...right after I do the dishes and plan dinner and pee...

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Surprise

Last night, like a shot arriving, a thought popped into my head. A thought that felt like it belonged, an idea, a belief, a decision... it landed, took hold and felt right. Wow, not just thinking, mulling over, but something that arrived un-bidden, to stay. Funny how that happens from time to time.

I created a whole post about it, as I drifted into my codeine induced slumber, and knew that I would hold onto it until morning when I could get it written down. Nothing fancy, just a clear paragraph or so.

This morning, it's gone.

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